Riding out a Hurricane

street view of the happenings. 

Never been in a hurricane before. Sounds like Hurricane Sandy is a good one to start with.

MTA closed subways yesterday at 7pm and it's still only threatening today... I'm waiting for something to happen on the edge of my seat in both anxiety and excitement.

I get a couple days of as a birthday gift as a result. Thank you, mother nature! Though I wish I would have been able to buy a couple books to keep me occupied. I've been watching a lot of Downton Abbey and I'm seriously considering taking a walk before I can't anymore.

I was at Union Square yesterday and it was empty empty empty. A bunch of ConEd (power) trucks were gathered on the square and the only cars I saw were taxis. It feels like a movie.

No idea what to expect. But I'm guessing a week long lightening storm and a bunch of flooding (thankfully, I live on the second floor). Power outages... probably. Got my cellphone all charged up. And plenty of batteries for the camera and the flashlight. Bottles of water in the freezer to help keep things cold and to drink if we lose running water... and a bathtub full of water for the toilet flushing...

Union Square, practically deserted. 

Now we wait. I'll think of how this affects my budget afterwards.

Big Fat Blustery Love,
Nanette

The Scheduling...

I have no idea how the people with kids do this. Especially single working moms. 

But as you can see... there IS time for working out. There is time to make a 30 min dinner. There is time to do everything. And if I find ways to make my commute time (subway) productive, I can recharge and have that creative time... So whip out my ipod, a book, my journal, something escapist. Or my budget, or my day planner, or list book.

Today...   I did 30 tricep dips and pushups. No cardio. I'm pouting. Will has family coming in this weekend so our weekend plans, AKA: my birthday celebration with him, is cancelled. But I'm going upstate with him today. He's going to class and I'm going to go on a walk... I guess I can make that productive.

Big Fat Find Time Love,
Nanette

Steady. Like rocks.

My weight is still holding steady. I've been terrible about giving in to Halloween candy at work and pizza seems to be everywhere! 

I feel like my life is a tub of water... and each one of these changes has been like a boulder being dropped into the water, disturbing everything. As soon as the water calms down, another rock gets plopped in... waves of change, a constant unsettled ripple running through. The last rock has plopped for a while though! The jobs are steady. They're staying. I've found my schedule. I've found how to work the boy into everything. My routine is taking shape. A real routine! No training. No last minute meetings or grand openings.

Now that I'm aboard the "your life is moving forward, with or without you" train... instead of dragging behind it... I can get my head back into weight loss. I know, I know... I've said this like.. 20 times since I got here in June. It feels like starting over. I'm going to treat it as such. 

I am Nanette. I weigh 298lbs (some days I cross the 300lb border). I am fat. I am sexy. I am alive and I am so grateful my body hasn't given up on me. This body has gone through so much to haul all this fat around... this physical manifestation of my inability to control my emotions, boredom and laziness. 

I am doing this for my joints. 

I am doing this for my organs. 

I am doing this to feel sexier. 

I am doing this to give myself more freedom from pain and limitations. 

Starting. 

Food. 

I bought frozen chicken breasts, salmon patties, tomatoes, spinach, kale, swiss chard, eggs, goat cheese, olive oil, greek yogurt, peanut butter, buckwheat bread, tuna and protein bars. 

I have made a menu to last until the next payday/grocery shopping day. I have found favorite healthy restaurants/options in most of the neighborhoods where I work/play. I finally found grocery shopping options that work for me. 

I am getting back to my fitnesspal. Because I need accountability and to actually acknowledge how much fuel I'm putting into my body. 

Workouts. 

This area still needs work. Gotta buy shoes. Gotta sit down with my planner and make the time. But this week is baby steps. I'm going to concentrate on food. If any workouts happen... BONUS! :) 

Big Fat Love, 

Nanette

Not Dead!!!

Hey Guys!

I'm not dead. I'm working 5 jobs (3 freelance and 2 part time). I've been eating half like crap and half not like crap. Running some days. doing mini morning work outs others... sometimes just counting all the flights of stairs I climb on all the subway transfers over the day.

The dress I'm saving for. 

Ultimately. I'm maintaining. Which is amazing. I'm so happy that most of my habits have stuck... like if I over indulge... that's behind me. We move forward. Eat better. Move more. I mean... I may not be winning at the weight LOSS bit, but I'm not gaining.

I found a cute plus size clothing store next to my work. I'm not the largest size they offer! Two sizes down actually... They have a lovely website. There are different cuts for different body types... but let me tell you... their structured stuff, the stuff I normally shy away from, is PERFECT. Bust is big enough, thigh and hips are large enough. It made me feel absolutely gorgeous. I can't wait to buy this dress. I'm squirreling away pennies so I can buy it for Christmas or something special like that.

Big Fat Exhausted Love,
Nanette

Nnnggghhh

Broke up with the guy. Things just weren't staying very peachy. Trying not to eat my sadness. Just feel it. Trying not to fall into the stupid break up despair that happens sometimes.

I made a bunch of work out calendars and budget calendars yesterday so I have fewer decisions to make. Good ones will be made for me.

I also talked to my roommates. They had a wine and cheese party for me yesterday. Didn't drink. But I definitely ate cheese. I told them that this has to be the last sort of thing like this that happens... I need their support to keep losing weight. One of my roommates is also trying to lose weight so I have a support buddy there too.

We all agreed to keep less candy in the house and if we have candy, just don't offer it to the fatty. Otherwise, we're pretty strict about eating only what you've purchased. I've found a grocery routine that's more healthy than what I was doing before. I've also developed a system for shopping at trader joe's. Just get in line... fill up your basket as the line winds around the store.

I'm still seeing smaller numbers. Today I'm down to 296.

Still interval running and stretching. Getting back into the HIIT stuff in October.

Big Fat FALL Love,
Nanette

Still Up and Running

Hey All!

I'm still up and running, literally! :) I'm not seeing a lot of movement on the scale. But I can't really worry too much about it right now. Just keep moving, eating more greens, drinking water and pooping.

I'm working 4 jobs this week...  in two weeks it will be 5. Finally digging myself out of the financial shitter!  

Dating is good. Running is good. Food is mostly good. Weight is slowly going down. More tenacity will occur as things slow down a little.

Big Fat Happy Love,
Nanette

Emergence.

I feel like I'm emerging from a cloud of depression and being overwhelmed. Things are starting to settle. I got a run in this week. I got a yoga session in. I mean... 2 work outs is certainly not significant in the scope of what I have done before. But two workouts is a hell of a lot more than just ONE work out.

I've found three decent grocery stores near my daily routine that each carry something great.

1) Trader Joe's - mostly healthy, relatively cheap, really long lines.
2) Associated foods - Good produce, no lines, kinda expensive.
3) Morton Williams - GREAT produce, expensive, prepped deli foods (danger), moderately priced health foods. VERY close to work.

Another friend moved here from Idaho. I've been helping her adjust to her surroundings and that has helped me reflect on how far I've come. I also landed a second part-time job this week and I've got this overwhelming sense of calmness that comes with that financial security. Things are going to be okay. I will be able to pay off my debts. I will be able to keep my head above water and love my life again.

Also, found out that the doc is getting rid of furniture and wants to send some stuff my way. Bookshelves, chairs, desk. Things for my naked room/apartment. I'm excited. The weight is coming off again. Down to 298 again... and coming out of a cloud of negativity and panic.

Big Fat BIRTHED Love,
Nanette