Weight gain. Plain and simple.
I was all the way up to 327 after my friend Sarah came to visit. We toured NYC with our maws wide open. Also, why I haven't blogged in a little bit. I've been overwhelmed.
Today I'm at 321.
I've been doing about 4 days of research. Because this weight gain has freaked me out. I can't undo everything I've done. I can't. I REFUSE...
What I know about my relationship with food right now...
I love sugar.
I love carbs.
I love cheese.
I love meat.
I love some veggies.
I love all fruits.
I can motivate myself (realistically) 3 times a week to get to the gym for cardio and a short weight session.
I can track calories on the MFP app on the train.
I know that carbs = instant fat.
I know that dad is a type-2 diabete.
I know that mom has a penchant for breads and sweets as well.
I know that I can give up sugar - I've done it before.
I know that I can give up white death - I've done it before.
I started the weightloss thing last time with something extreme as a juice fast. With the support of one of my roommates and my boyfriend. I am going to do the low carb - ketosis thing. I am aiming for carbs between 25-35g per day.
It will require incessant tracking. I have already grocery shopped. I have already prepped all the meats. I have already pre-bagged my veggie snacks. I put my bread and clif bars in the freezer, where they shall stay until a higher carb day.
How I understand the whole ketosis plan works is that your body stores a certain amount of sugar based energy (glycogen) in your body (liver, I think) for power/energy. So when you are going about your daily to-do, you use that to power you through. If you can deplete the store of glycogen in the body, you can get your body to use fat as an energy source instead.
The pattern of this way of eating is that you spend two weeks doing the super low carb thing. Then allow yourself one day of healthy carbs (see: potatoes, fruit, etc, not candy, or brownies, or pizza). After the initial two weeks, you continue 6 days low carb, 1 day carb, 6 days low carb, 1 day carb. Also after the first two weeks you can readjust the carb levels to suit your needs.
From friends/family that have had diabetes, I know that you wind up having to live this way. And from the nutritionist's office, I know that it's usually recommended that carbs should stay between 75-80g for a person with diabetes. Breads, sweets, things that raise the blood sugar levels are things that you have to keep limited and paced throughout the day.
Mentally, this is a challenge for me to see if I can play out how life would be if I actually had diabetes. Each time I log a meal, it's like checking my blood sugar. It's keeping an eye on my carbs and fiber (as much as I'd like to just eat my entire day in cheese, I rather enjoy pooping). I know that if I continue to gain weight... or even maintain the weight I am currently at, I am on the road for diabetes, knee surgery, back pain, poor circulation, worsening vision, hair loss... not to mention the emotional baggage and guilt that comes with all of that.
I am finanically stable. I am in a stable relationship. I have a stable housing situation. I have established routine. There is always an the element of "unexpected" in life... and that's consistent too. So here we go.
I have completed day one...
I didn't starve myself today. I had cheese cubes, lunch meat, spinach, tomatoes, carrots, celery, dressing, a small steak, and some seed nuggets. I can honestly say, I don't really feel hungry. But my mouth feels greasy. Majority of my calories came from cheese and meat - obviously, hence the fat and protein being over "normal." I expect that may happen a bit these next two weeks.
What I expect will happen with my body and weight...
I anticipate that the next 3 days will go really well. The fridge is stocked for success.
There will be fatigue and sluggishness as my body is switching to a different energy source.
That I will see the scale start moving in the downwards direction.
That I will be able to stay under 1700 calories a day.
That I will make excuses to cheat, or find ways to undermine myself... I know you, Nanette. You do that. And just so you know, Motivated Nanette will be ready to fight dirty.
That I will encounter people that find what I'm doing unhealthy... or will ask me to consume something different than what I said I would and that I will stay strong in my decision for myself.
Big Fat Don't Care if You Agree Love,