Okay... well, I did really well last week with food and exercise and then the weekend happened. I let loose and for the first time since the challenge began missed 2 days of calorie counting. I had a burger one day, pizza another - again, a social situation. Both were on dates with a fine young gentleman. Even worse, in addition to the bad food choices, I had to skip dance class to go on a field trip for my voice ped class.
It was nice to take a step back. Though bad decisions were made, I can feel the affect on my body. And from that I can learn. I could see my body retaining water. I could feel my slowness and grogginess hitting. I had a coffee with him one morning too... first time I've had coffee/caffeine of any sort since May. I got anxious, sweaty and hit a terrible tiring crash MID-DATE! Horrible. I'm ready to return to my good habits... and a reliable internet connection so I can log into myfitnesspal.
The date was interesting... We shall call him J. J likes big women. J knows I'm working on becoming less of a big woman. J doesn't like it. I told him tough shit. I'm not losing weight to be twiggy or attractive. I know I'm attractive at this size. I'm losing weight to keep from getting diabetes or at least postpone as long as possible. I'm trying not to die of heart disease. I'm trying not to have to replace my knees/ankles/joints. I'm trying not to suffer from arthritis or wear away cartilage. He understands I do it for health. But he wanted me to understand that he thinks I'm attractive right now. I'm sad he finds it difficult to get behind my decision. I'm not changing my mind. He also second guesses my NYC plans. Again, I'm not changing my mind. Before we all jump on the "you need a man that supports your decisions and will stand beside you always" speech.... I'm moving. This might be short lived. I like him in EVERY other aspect. It's nice to feel sexy as is right now. I can have that and be moving down the scale. He knows that I'm not going to stop. I'm like that. Bullheaded, goal-oriented and determined to get exactly what I want.
So J might be a reoccurring theme. Yes. It is going to be very hard to lose weight with an active participator against it. Yes. He knows this is going to be a subject of oft butting heads. Yes. This might be a good thing too, to have someone to push against. I'm a naturally contrary person. Maybe I can work it in my favor. In the meanwhile, it's nice to be dating. It's nice to have romance and affection. Connecting with a significant other, while only slightly different than a best best best friend, is still an important connection to have. Again, save the "strong independent women don't need men to validate them" speech.
I am a strong independent woman. He's a strong independent man. And I like that I found an equal when it comes to arguing. heh.
Big Fat Newly Involved Love,
P.s. Midterms went well... Grades are passed out this week.
- Drink 100 oz of water a day.
- Eat carefully, under 1900 a day.
- Get 7 hrs of exercise in.
- Get to the halfway point with Skinny Bitch.
- Budget better. For reals.