My second shift was cancelled today... So I had an early afternoon home time.
The no bread thing is so much harder. This morning I was offered a free bagel breakfast sandwich. I declined. On my way home from work, I stopped into the CVS to grab tampons... Instantly..
"I want candy!"
"Man, I could go for.."
"SHUT UP ALREADY AND THINK ABOUT SOMETHING MORE INTERESTING THAN WHAT TO PUT IN YOUR FACE NEXT."
I made it to the train with just my tampons... and a couple bottles of nail polish. If I must treat myself, it doesn't need to be with food. And I really don't like collecting a whole lot of things, so this may be more fiscally responsible in the long run.
Between the train and home, I stopped by a different store so I could pick up something that would resemble carb-less lunch. Beef Jerky, Tuna, Green beans, String cheese (not to be consumed all at once).
Got home. Crashed. Ate the jerky, fell asleep... for 3 hours. I haven't had a nap since throat infection days at the sublet. I only felt about 10% bad about sleeping my time off away. I woke up and watched "LBS" on netflix. I recommend it...
It's about this Italian family guy who has to isolate himself pretty much to lose weight. He binges like a champion. And eventually picks up a healthier lifestyle and returns to the city. It's neat because the actor/character actually loses the weight during the filming process. No fat suits. Nothing like that.
But at the same time, I didn't like that it's telling me that I need isolation to lose weight. I mean... Idaho was kind of that way. And I isolated myself from friends and any food related social behaviors (aka the majority of them). So I guess that's true. It just makes me feel a touch hopeless in the roommate situation and not being able to remove myself from temptation, but actually face it 24 hours a day. There's no protective place of only good choices.
I took a walk after and went to a grocery store so I could load up on salad fixin's for the next few days. Just needed to get a body in motion. It's a good way to catch up on the podcasts - WHERE THEY TALK ABOUT THINGS BESIDES FOOD and are advertisement free. I'd say the walk is the closest thing I have to temptation free time. Podcast. House keys and no debit/cash.
When I got home, the roommates had ordered in Italian food. Bread, pasta, pizza, calamari and one roommate had baked "boyfriend" cookies... aka candy held together by just enough pudding mix laden dough to deem it a cookie.
I put the salad away. I drank some water. Water sends the signal we're full, right? I ate a couple things of string cheese. Played with the cats. Isolated myself to my room... drawing, reading, listening to stuff. Eventually I gave in and ate one of the cookies. Savored it, really. But it's not a good start to the No White Death Goal...
On the up (technically down) side, The unbloat is happening! whoo-hooo!!!
Big Fat Typing instead of eating an entire tray of cookies Love,