I've been doing so much research regarding plateaus and motivation over the Christmas break that my browser's bookmark list is getting ridiculously long. Reading article after article after article... I'm ready to shout! I AM NOT A YO-YO DIETER! I may be an emotional eater, but I haven't found what emotion inspires the inhalation of food... not boredom, or sadness... maybe loneliness? Since I so strongly affiliate food with socializing.
But really... I got my book for the challenge in the mail today. It starts off by assuming I've tried every diet out there and I've just lost interest after the first couple of weeks. Let's get this straight. I have eaten whatever I've wanted for 24 years of my life... No holds barred (aside from the bottom of a chip bag). Once in a while I would scold myself for sweets or caffeine. But ultimately, I have never been on a diet. I have never been on a weight loss program. I have never counted calories. Looked at a scale weekly/daily for progress. I haven't "dieted" with the intent of weight loss before.
That's the kind of person I am. All or nothing. I've spent the last year whining and complaining and feeling subpar for being fat. I also spent the last year watching documentaries. Doing research. Reading and finding out what the garbage I've been putting in my body for 24 years has DONE and WILL DO to my body.
Ultimately what I see in Yo-yo dieting is someone looking at something healthy and wanting. Then trying for a little while or a quick fix to get that body. I think it was Fat Sick and Nearly Dead that pointed out that if we think of dieting as DIETING of course we're going to gain everything back. This is not a diet. This is not a program. This isn't a seven week course.
This is a permanent life change. I am choosing a permanent life change. That means I will probably never have soda again... I certainly feel like my life is fulfilling without it. That means that I will probably always check labels for corn syrup and hydrogenated oils. I will always thinking about what kind of fats are in the food I'm eating. I will always be thinking "you are what you eat. Literally. On the molecular level." And it can be dizzying or exhausting or even feel like I'm denying myself wonderful things (really?)... but these things aren't happiness (neither is thin, just saying).
I feel good and happy when I know I'm treating my body well. I feel good and happy when I accomplish something (like walking away from oreos, ON SALE). I feel good and happy when I finish things like these online challenges, or an extra minute or five on the elliptical. I feel good when I know that I am in full control of what I choose to put in my mouth whether or not I exercise that control well. I feel good and happy when I show ownership of my decisions, particularly when those decisions are beneficial.
In a world of want want want want NEED, sometimes I get a twinge of delight when I do without. Less feels good. Owning less. Eating less. Weighing less. Buying less. Driving less. It's calming to throw away a shoe box full of old notes from high school or lotions that you got as gifts but haven't used for 2 years because you really can't abide the smell and they haven't grown on you like they thought you would. Even those boxes/cans/packages of food you shouldn't eat anyway... give them to a food bank. Keep less. Store less. Those lesses help us find mores. More time. More space. More thinking. More walking. More options and opportunities. More choices. More nutrition. More.
In this challenge I'm so looking forward to less. Less body. Less stuff. Less food. Less waist. Less.
I'm so looking forward to more. More time. More thinking. More walking. More journaling. More clothing options. More writing. More reading. More.
So here's to a life commitment to your body and health.
Big Fat Commitment-y Love,