Check yourself before you wreck yourself.

I have no idea what the weigh in this morning is. But yesterday it was like... 346.8. Back up the 2 point whatever pounds that I lost.

I am not going to beat myself up over this. I'm maintaining. I'm also working 7 days a week at jobs that keep me on my ass 8 hours a day. I'm combatting this by taking my 15 minute breaks in motion. Walks around the buildings and grounds.

Mister has dropped me off 2 miles from home so I could get some walking in. Worked just great. Depsite my ambition to do it again, I got swamped with end of month billing for the 3rd job that I work after I get home from my 9-5 job Monday - Friday.

I am feeling older than ever. Fatter than ever (even though this is not my heaviest). Weaker than ever.

Thursday I have an EKG. Thursday I find out if I'm a good candidate for those appetite suppressants. Which I'm now fervently in favor of... all this working and stress has me just itching for something to munch on. We'll see if they agree with me.

It also means for the first time in 2 weeks I'm not working a full shift... It's almost like a mini vacation... one where they put stickers on you and afterwards you get to stop by the Dr. office and pick up your prescription for little pills that will help you shed that first 30lbs. PLEASE. I would love to do that while I'm working.

I just need to feel like I'm succeeding at one thing. Just one thing. Please. I feel like I'm cheating, but I need a tiny victory to keep me going. Just the tiniest victory.

This week, I promise to...
- Drink 2 nalgene bottles a day (I've been so good at this).
- Walk home from work 3-4 times.
- Pack lunch the night before to avoid last minute bad decisions.
- Get the EKG.
- Just track calories. Just track them. stop trying to meet or beat a number. Just write down what goes in your mouth. It worked last time. It'll work again.
- Update my blog on Saturday/Sunday when I have time at my really slow job.

Big Fat Love,
Nanette N.