Saturday, June 16, 2012

The Dates...

Okay... I promised... so here we go.

Saturday (landed): Date with the boy on the upper east side. We had pizza (my first of the trip) and watched movies at his place. He's going to school and that's about it. No work. But he lives with the parents so he can survive. They go to Martha's Vineyard on the weekend so it wasn't too awkward. But leaving time came and he refused to walk me to the subway. Instead HE GAVE ME DIRECTIONS. I asked him again "So, it's my first day in this city and you're just going to GIVE ME DIRECTIONS? Why not just walk me?"

"I've got stuff to get done before my parents get back." {Immediately feel like he's not interested AND like I'm in 8th grade}. Kiss grade: B

Sunday: Friend date with my old housemate, Tracy. She's one of my favorite people in the whole world.

Monday: Date with Graphic Designer. We talked online for like... 10 minutes and then decided to go to dinner together. He took the train to my station. We explored the neighborhood for a little while (which was nice to have company while doing). Then went to a place called "The Farm" for dinner. Cute guy. Shorter than me. But he's cute. And apparently he makes money. Heh. We talked about living cheaply and about how we both agree we'd rather have a good savings account than a fancy overpriced apartment. We got into some huge discussion about the current presidential race. I'm predominantly Democratic, though I don't belong to a party. But there's no way in hell I'm going to get behind Romney after he's buddied up with Frank VanderSloot and Tom Luna. No Second date so far. No physical contact whatsoever on the first date. But he was sweet and I WALKED HIM TO THE SUBWAY.

Tuesday: Date with the Stock Broker. I met him near City Hall. (But didn't take my camera, sorry guys). He took me on a walking tour of the area. Took me through a Century 21 and told me to pick out whatever I wanted. I told him I couldn't do that. I just couldn't. We walked by the 9/11 site and watched some of the construction. Then went for sushi at this place where all of the owners and servers knew him by name. He talks a mile a minute, so I had a hard time getting a word in edge-wise. Then he started telling me who I was since I wasn't doing much talking. "You're too quiet. You stick out. You're bright eyed. New York will take that out of you. You don't seem to have a personality (my personal fave). You are naive. You are going to be easily taken advantage of here." And I know that most of it was coming from an Impose a personality place... and partially from the protection place... and the you've been warned place. But seriously?! No personality? Maybe if you'd SHUT UP for 5 seconds or maybe ask your date some freaking QUESTIONS instead of just telling your date what's she's like... maybe you'd find that she does have a personality... and manners to boot! No kiss. But a very lovely time aside from getting mad for that bit.

Wednesday: Date with the Israeli guy. We wandered for a good 1.5 hours through East Village. I was aiming to get away from traffic and loud noises and he was trying to aim us toward hustle and bustle. So I was feeling a little impatient off the bat. Then his nerd potential started to slowly reveal itself. Obsession with asian cultures, kung fu, japanese tea service, anime. Which is a BIT much for me. But he's 100% sweet. Like me, he's 100% poor. So we split the cost of things. He's terrible at math. Because it wound up with me paying $4 more than my share. But really? It's $4. I'm not going to make a big scene over it. (rather, just report it to my blog). We went to Union Square and he was all sweet. Kissed a little. Then walked me to my train... and waited for it to arrive before catching his own. Kiss score: D.

Let me break this down for any of you boys out there... Awesome kissing does NOT START with your mouth open. That's something you work UP to. Little kisses that get bigger. Not I'm going to eat your face like a sandwich.

Thursday: Date with Madison Square Garden Sports Journalist. Little asian guy. We've been talking for like... 2 months. Nice. Nervous. We went out toward Atlantic Avenue (see monopoly) and wandered around for another 1.5 hours. It was pretty late, like 1am, because he has odd working hours and I didn't feel like going to bed yet. So we wind up on the Brooklyn Promenade (romantic-y bay outlook area/park). And he tries to get all frisky. I'm okay with kissing. But anything else, ESPECIALLY on the first date, ESPECIALLY in public. Not so much. I physically had to remove his hands from me and say "I'm serious when I say stop it." So there's a little rape-y vibe happening there (good thing I've got 4 inches height and 130lbs on him). And he happens to be the absolute worst kisser I've ever experienced. I've never clinked teeth before. Or felt like my face was going to be chewed off...   or felt like I was kissing a drinking fountain. Not sexy. Overly aggressive in every way. Such a turn off.

Friday: Friend date, turned date with Record Store guy. I've been talking to him for 2 months or so as well. And we both sorta agreed that friends is a good place for us. That being said... I was going to go meet my new friend. I took a train 2 hours out of the city to hang out. I stayed over at his other friend's place. Record Store guy was so nice and funny and easy to spend time with... and again, we were pizza and movie-ing. But this time it was great. And we were doing just fine with the friend date... until he kissed me. And thank the up-aboves he did! FINALLY a good kisser. I was losing hope for NY. He drove me back to my place on Friday... and dropped me off at my door. I want to see him again. But I'm not sure I can with the distance.

Saturday: I become the queen of poops and dating stops for a little while. I had to cancel the second date with Israeli guy. But we rescheduled.

Big Fat Boys Are Confusing Love,


  1. Bahaha! This post made me chuckle and shudder at same time, when I tried to imagine what the "dating world" would be like again.

    Needless to say, NY dating is a different universe: stock broker guy? You have no personality? STFU, listen, ask questions, listen again...because some people don't feel like competing for attention or speaking time as if they're afraid they'll cease to exist unless they are talking.

    Eating a sandwich! My personal worst and I only encountered it once (shudder) is receiving a kiss that felt like I was kissing a vacuum.

  2. P.S. You have no idea how much I love your blog and enjoy your brand of humor!

  3. Ahhh the dating life.....has it's good and bad points. Here's hoping there will soon be a Mr Dreamboat around the corner (literally!!).

  4. There are going to be some hits and misses - enjoy the process :)

  5. Girl you dated more in this one post, than I did in my entire dating career...sadly I'm serious. I love your self confidence and need a dose of it! Thanks for sharing, and for those pointers to the men out there! ha! You go girl!


sorry guys, so much spam, gotta put the filters up again.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...