STARVING... Okay... maybe just REALLY HUNGRY.

So yesterday is a fine example of the kind of problem I'm having planning stuff... remember the good intentions and the menu and stuff? Immediately after I wrote that, I got a call from my friend and I had to bolt (unshowered and gross) across town to see a property (we're looking for a lease) on the other side of brooklyn. Hurriedly, I threw on my work clothes just in case I couldn't make it home. But I mean, honestly, it was 9:00am. and I didn't have to be to work until 1:30. I should have had time, right? 

Wrong. 

The cab didn't show up. So we had to find an alternate route. run to the subway. Take a shuttle. But the realtor thought we would be there in like... 15 min. Turning out to be 30... 45...   I'm stressing my face off. Then we get there... and we speed walk 3 streets and an avenue (I've learned that they're different). Meet up with Boris and he drives us to the property. 

Driving takes 20 minutes. It's less than 5 miles away. TWENTY MINUTES. That is only slightly faster than walking. We see the apt in about 20 minutes as well... drive back in 20 minutes. Go to the office. Fill out paperwork for credit checks another 20 minutes... it's 11:45a.m. already! 

What subway am I near? Will it take me all the way to work? No. Walk another .5 miles. Realize that I left without breakfast. I left without lunch. I didn't pack a dinner. Balls. Hurry into a Duane Read and buy a bag of unsalted almonds and a water bottle. RUN the rest of the way to work. 

Work is slammed. CONSTANTLY going going going. Everything was going well though. From 1:30 - 8:00pm. I didn't have time to pee. I forgot entirely about the almonds. I get done. Drag myself to the train. NO energy. Start fantasizing about what food I'm going to order when I get home... realize I'm about to sign a lease and I have a total of $12 that needs to last me two weeks. Start thinking of the food I can make. 

Get home. Take of 80% of my clothes. Make a tuna melt and a salad and some cottage cheese... and a slice of cheese... and a tomato... and a huge bottle of water. Get a phone call from a guy I've been meaning to go on a second date with. Hurry and eat dinner. Meet him at 14th street... it's 12:20a.m. We walk from union square all the way to flatbush (across brooklyn bridge) and then poop out and take a cab home. It was approximately 5.5 miles. I get home at 2:30am. Realize I have to take papers over to the realtor in the morning. Must be up by 8:30. 

Accidentally sleep in. oops. Will fax the papers when I get to work. And the best intentions for today...  

Just eat something. a little something, every four hours or so. 

and drink water. 

Big Fat Tired Love, 

Nanette

New Year... New Adventures.

I keep trying to tell myself it will be adventures... By nature I'm a planner. A list maker. A type-A, know where you're going, 5 year plan, kind of person. So, imagine my surprise when I got an email on Christmas Eve saying that my financial aid was being revoked because I was past my max credit limit that was just readjusted this fall by the school from 192 to 180. No warning. Just WHAM!

Technically, it's not screwing up my school plans. I have one credit left to finish and I have an incomplete in it so I don't even have to register. But I'm a terrible self motivated practicer (It's my piano proficiency class). What it IS screwing up are my financial plans. I was going to take my last loan/grant/scholarship round and use the change check to pay for my move out to NYC in June and my trip to Italy with the choir - pending a grant approval for the choir thing.

Turns out that the grant for the choir fell through. The financial aid fell through. I have my tax return coming. Which is great. But losing my "student" status means I could potentially lose my job at the Distance Learning center. Ouch. Right? Well, I have a friend who manages American Eagle and she might be able to swing me a job working freight. That would be a MAJOR paycut. From 12.50 to 8.00. WHICH WOULD KILL MY ABILITY TO PAY BILLS... not to mention save for NYC. BAH!  

So I'm starting to look at Nannying jobs. If you get paired with a family, you get to live in with them and they pay for your relocation. It's a year commitment. But it's a good fall back.

In the meanwhile, I can keep my music clerk job (10hpw, $8.00 hourly) for sure, potential American Eagle (15-20hpw, $8.00 hourly) and HOPEFULLY KEEP (prayers, vibes, thoughts please) my DL job (20hpw, $12.50 hourly).

P.S. Thought I was getting my change check this week. I'm not. I'm also not getting paid for any work because of vacation. However, I was spending like I was getting my change check. So I'm trying to make $40 stretch until January 20. That might kill my food budget. ***insert curse words*** Time to find babysitting jobs, housework, house sitting etc.

Adventure, right?

Losing student status also means I lose my gym membership. UGH! But I'm not graduated so I'm not sure if I can get an alumni pass... or if I'm going to have to go across town to go to the expensive gym (no car as well). If I CAN get an alumni pass, I will have to wait until January 20th at the EARLIEST to pay for the new pass. So there will be a guaranteed 2 weeks with no gym.

However, for now, I'm still pre-enrolled. So I've got the gym for the next week with certainty. I've got to come up with an at home work out plan just in case everything falls through.

Adventure...  

I'm also losing my student insurance. UGH. Just realized that. No more blood work to see my progress.

SO...  dum-da-da-dum!!!!

ULTRA PLANNING MODE!

This week...

• Eat left over produce in the house/ABSOLUTELY NO GOING OUT. 
• Make menus - STICK TO THEM. 
• Work out every day. You don't know if you'll have the gym next week. 
• Start collecting at home work outs - I have a yoga mat, exercise ball, and two feet perfect for walking. I'll be loving it up with bodyrock.tv

So as not to be ridiculously negative... Or "realistic" as I call it, Here's the good news. Remember that last guy I was dating... the guy who didn't support weight loss at all? Well this new one is excited about the weight loss thing. Not just for me but for himself as well. So for new years, we're racing each other to -50 lbs. It's so nice. He came to stay the weekend and we made healthy choices. Went on walks together. Cooked together. He's really easy to be around and keep to what I think is important. He's SO DANG SUPPORTIVE - of everything. But I'm not mormon much anymore, so ultimately it will end, plus I'm moving. But for now... it's delightful and not negative and not sarcastic. Just fun and kinda silly. It makes this financial stuff bearable to have something going well.

Big Fat STUPID MONEY Love,
Nanette

Body aches and the I-don't-wannas

It's cold outside. Just in case you didn't notice. My body wants hibernation mode. Sleep. Warmth. I do NOT want to have a week of midterms right now.

However, I got my lazy butt to the gym. My muscles complained the whole way there "It's too cold to be walking!" I've been so stiff lately! Despite all the stretching I'm doing. It must be the weather. But see, here's the deal, body. You're going to go and do stuff and you're going to get colder. Because you're going to lose your natural fat-coat/snowsuit. Eventually you'll acclimatize and start wearing freaking layers.

Because... remember... 
- fitting into the CDCC dress
- going to NY on a plane
     - where you fit in the seats
     - where you can shop at the plus size stores (or smaller)
     - where you can audition and not be rejected based on size.
     - where you have the opportunity to meet and date new people.
- you feel better when you move.
- when you exercise you can have the weekend piece of pizza with friends and not fall off the food wagon.
- you said you'd replace music obsession with health obsession and it's important to keep promises, ESPECIALLY TO YOURSELF.
- if you keep it up you can lose 50lbs reasonably by the end of the semester!

and... 

- getting good grades and passing your classes means graduation.
- Getting away from THIS place.
- Moving on to grown up land.
- starting life after college.
- jump through hoops = get degree.
- degree = better job opportunities in NY.

So frankly dear, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN. Keep moving. Keep going. Keep studying. Keep trying.

Big Fat Tough Love,
Nanette

Overkill...

*BEWARE: following blog may contain whining*

My body hurts. My WHOLE body hurts.

50 minute swim class - Make body into and "L" shape. Like you're sitting in the water. Use just your arms swim 6 laps. Use just your legs. 6 laps. Curve your shoulders closer to your hips keep your legs parallel with the bottom of the pool. It was like 50 minutes of intense toilet bowl sitting while kicking your legs.

15 minute trek up the university campus hill for dance class. Includes 5 sets of 10 stairs.

40 minute dance class. Yoga. stretching. Plies, releves, tendus, degages, piques. AKA leg, ankle, foot HELL. 

75 minute Feldenkrais Method (ATM) session. Laying on the floor. Pelvic thrusting with periodic stops. Retraining your muscles to align properly and reawakening nerves and awareness...  kinda fru-fru. But harder than you'd think... undoing all the bad ways you move your body. The Spine hip relationship specifically in our class. (seriously... lay on your back. feet flat, knees pointing up, right elbow pointing toward the ceiling, fingers under shoulder. Left hand pushing elbow back gently. Try and lift the right hip (just the right hip) and press with the right hand at the same time, try it fast, try it slow, try it high and lower. concentrate on the sensations).

And tomorrow morning is an hour in the gym. AN HOUR. ON THE BIKES. with this body that's already stiffening. Guess it's time to eat some potassium (bananas, plums, prunes, raw potato), drink extra water and take an ibuprofen or two.

Big Fat Tired Love,
Nanette