Pages

Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label moving. Show all posts

Thursday, July 12, 2012

STARVING... Okay... maybe just REALLY HUNGRY.

So yesterday is a fine example of the kind of problem I'm having planning stuff... remember the good intentions and the menu and stuff? Immediately after I wrote that, I got a call from my friend and I had to bolt (unshowered and gross) across town to see a property (we're looking for a lease) on the other side of brooklyn. Hurriedly, I threw on my work clothes just in case I couldn't make it home. But I mean, honestly, it was 9:00am. and I didn't have to be to work until 1:30. I should have had time, right? 

Wrong. 

The cab didn't show up. So we had to find an alternate route. run to the subway. Take a shuttle. But the realtor thought we would be there in like... 15 min. Turning out to be 30... 45...   I'm stressing my face off. Then we get there... and we speed walk 3 streets and an avenue (I've learned that they're different). Meet up with Boris and he drives us to the property. 

Driving takes 20 minutes. It's less than 5 miles away. TWENTY MINUTES. That is only slightly faster than walking. We see the apt in about 20 minutes as well... drive back in 20 minutes. Go to the office. Fill out paperwork for credit checks another 20 minutes... it's 11:45a.m. already! 

What subway am I near? Will it take me all the way to work? No. Walk another .5 miles. Realize that I left without breakfast. I left without lunch. I didn't pack a dinner. Balls. Hurry into a Duane Read and buy a bag of unsalted almonds and a water bottle. RUN the rest of the way to work. 

Work is slammed. CONSTANTLY going going going. Everything was going well though. From 1:30 - 8:00pm. I didn't have time to pee. I forgot entirely about the almonds. I get done. Drag myself to the train. NO energy. Start fantasizing about what food I'm going to order when I get home... realize I'm about to sign a lease and I have a total of $12 that needs to last me two weeks. Start thinking of the food I can make. 

Get home. Take of 80% of my clothes. Make a tuna melt and a salad and some cottage cheese... and a slice of cheese... and a tomato... and a huge bottle of water. Get a phone call from a guy I've been meaning to go on a second date with. Hurry and eat dinner. Meet him at 14th street... it's 12:20a.m. We walk from union square all the way to flatbush (across brooklyn bridge) and then poop out and take a cab home. It was approximately 5.5 miles. I get home at 2:30am. Realize I have to take papers over to the realtor in the morning. Must be up by 8:30. 

Accidentally sleep in. oops. Will fax the papers when I get to work. And the best intentions for today...  

Just eat something. a little something, every four hours or so. 
and drink water. 

Big Fat Tired Love, 
Nanette

Sunday, June 3, 2012

RFSC - Final Post.

Weight
Goal: - 18 lbs (295)
Actual: - 9 lbs (304)

Waist
Goal: - 2"(45")
Actual: - 1.5" (45.5")

NSV
Goal: size 24 pants.
Actual: size 24!!!

And... I packed up my life, sold and trashed the rest, lost a job, quit another, was homeless for 4 days, got a sublet in Brooklyn, lined up a couple interviews, said a thousand good-byes to loved ones AND MOVED 2000 MILES FROM HOME!

Great freakin' challenge results if you ask me.

Big Fat Losin' It Love,
Nanette

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Homeless...

I'm out of the old apartment. I have wonderful friends that helped me out with that. We got the entire place scrubbed down and my life now fits in two suitcases and a laundry basket. I'm spending the next 4 days downsizing the suitcases and laundry basket so they each weigh about 50lbs. 

I weigh more than all of my possessions. Weird. 

For now, I'm staying with Jessica, a friend, and her husband, two kids and a cat. They have been so kind to open up their home to me. Since I'm not working mornings. I'm trying to do something sneaky and nice for them every day. Today I took out all the garbages and did the dishes. Tomorrow I want to make them a healthy dinner/lunch. Do you guys have any suggestions for something cheap, quick and kid friendly?

My weight has been all over the chart...   In 24 hours I went from 312 to 302. Stress, water and no sleep... that's how it manifests itself. 

I'm weighing in again at 304. So not a terrible amount of damage. My weight and fitness goals are out the window at this point. I know we're going into the last week here... But without a home that is my own and a GIANT transition happening... I've gotta say that weight loss is taking a bit of a backseat... if only for the week. 

Last night I was approached by my reporter friend to do a segment about beginning weight loss for the local tv station here. I told him I would love to talk about it. I guess the story was brought up because this obese gentleman wanted to start losing weight (segment A of the story) and so they're looking for people who have done it, started, or changed their lifestyles (segment B). This includes working out ON CAMERA. Uh... as if the gym weren't intimidating enough... let's break a jiggly sweat on camera. May as well. There's no shame in fitness, no matter what your weight. That films Wednesday. I'm excited because A) I love attention and B) Fitness is something I'm so passionate about. Not thinness. FITNESS. This isn't about weight loss as much as it's about health and health just happens to include weight loss. (she says, preaching to the choir). 

Big Fat Transition Love, 
Nanette Nielson

Friday, May 25, 2012

Ready for this!? - 7 day countdown begins.

So here're the stats.

Weight: between 305-309

Stress: off the charts.

Working: 65 hours this week.

Sleeping: 4-5 hours a night.

BUT BUT BUT BUT BUT

I have a couple job opportunities in the new city. So when I land, I have a couple in person interviews all lined up. Restaurant/catering work and an office assistant position for a search firm. I have high hopes and a good feeling about life outside of Idaho. I feel like I can put that aside now. I can put the planning aside.

But while I'm still here...

I have 3 more 2:30 - midnight shifts. (Friday, Tuesday Wednesday).
No more morning work.
So sleep will be improving.

I have 3 more days in my apartment.
To scrub clean, top to bottom.
To eat the food in the fridge or get rid of it.
To pack my suitcases (and do a serious amount of laundry).
To make my last goodwill donations.
To walk around naked.
So the stress is still high.

I'm worried about my motivation and losing my progress because I'm having such a difficult time focusing. So I've told myself. "Nanette, you've done this for months. You know how to make good food decisions. Trust that for now. If you gain a few pounds, you'll lose them again when you relocate and settle."

But I'm trying to determine whether or not that's B.S.... Excuses to get back to "addict" behavior. I'm experiencing a definite lack of peace while the ground underneath my feet shifts and the mental athlete I've trained has gotten flabby. But I feel like, what's the harm in just relaxing for 7 days. (SELF, DO NOT TAKE THAT AS A CHALLENGE TO GAIN AS MUCH WEIGHT AS YOU CAN IN 7 DAYS).

Things I give into will be habits I have to break again. Cravings to fight. Soreness to overcome. But guess what, Nanette... that's life. There's no point in which everything will be perfect.. that eating and working out will be 100% all of the time. What matters is that you keep trying and how you adjust. Being flexible and positive is going to get you through this. Never give up! Never give in!

Menu
B: Zoi
S: Chocolate covered peanuts ( I KNOW, I KNOW).
L: Spinach, tomato, blueberry, goat cheese, balsamic salad.
S: 1 cup cottage cheese.
D: Tuna sandwich, odwalla juice.
S: 1 cup cottage cheese... (if I'm going to eat for comfort right now... may as well be high in protein).

Workout
.5 mile to Job 1.
2.5 mile to Job 2.
2.5 mile from Job 2.

Big Fat Gentle Reminder To Move Forward Love,
Nanette

Friday, May 18, 2012

In which she breaks it down...

I am not sleeping enough, between 4-5 hours a night.
I may have had fries twice this week.

Yesterday I saw my lowest weight, 301 and my highest weight of the week 309. I don't know how that's possible. I doubt the validity of my scale.

I have gone on one 1hr hike.

I have walked about 12 miles getting to and from the new job. That'll be 15 today.

I have done ONE interval run.

My hydration is great on somedays, but I have to be careful... we get scheduled bathroom breaks and I can't be leaving training constantly... AKA on the hour like I'd need to if I were consuming 140oz all the time.

14 days until I fly, pardon my french... but merde is getting REAL.

So much to do in the house before the 28th. I need to get my entire deposit back... so I need to be doing little things throughout the week.

like the dishes, emptying garbages, taking bags of stuff to goodwill, borrowing a vaccum and starting to attack the hard water crusts on bathroom and kitchen faucets. Any tips for that out there?

In addition, everyone wants to say their good-byes. But only 3 people showed up to my going away party. I don't have time to spend with everyone since I'm working 8am - noon and from 2:30pm to midnight. Want monsters... want time, want attention, want priority when I'm very clearly out of those spots in my life and then I feel guilty that I can't indulge everyone (and myself) and play as often as I'd like.

I'm stressed out. When this happens, weight is on the bottom of my list of things to do.

Wendy, I hope you're reading this. I'm not ignoring your calls. I just work a metric shit ton. (60 hours a week if anyone is counting, not including commute time/walking).

Here's my activity in positivity...
I choose to see this stress as positive because...
- I am making money.
- I am buying myself time to get a job in NY by having a good savings.
- I am reducing my stress for NY, where things will be more stressful than here.
- I am prepping for a continued healthy lifestyle, by taking a momentary hit in that same area.
- I am getting a lot of walking in, which is better than nothing as far as fitness goes.
- I am going to be out of Idaho soon and LIVING THE DREAM!! (the poor starving artist dream)!

Big Fat Update Love,
Nanette

Sunday, May 6, 2012

RFSC + Life Update + Faith & Trust

Check In

Weight: 302 (-4lbs!) 

Waist: 46.5" (+.5")

Water: Better this week. 100oz everyday but yesterday. 

Workouts: 1 HIIT session (found out trainer is preggers on tuesday and unable to do it anymore) 
4 interval runs. 

Nutrition: I've been logging some stuff in MFP... Forcing myself to at least log in every day. This deserves no congratulations. But I've done okay, I mean... I'm losing weight. Just eating when I'm hungry. 

NSV: Losing weight despite not tracking calories! Graduation is official! Acquired 3 jobs. Secured my sublet. I will be a brooklynite in 4 weeks! 

Goals 

Weight: GET UNDER THREE HUNDRED!!!!   

NSV: Let go of some of the too big clothing. Pack up some of the going home for storage stuff. Take care of skin/massage cellulite places try to help circulation. 

Nutrition: Keep it under control. Eat more veggies every day. 

Water: 100 oz every day. 

Workouts
Sunday: Leg HIIT
Monday: Interval Run + Arms HIIT. 
Tuesday: Core HIIT. 
Wednesday: Insanity. 
Thursday: Interval Run. Arms HIIT. 
Friday: off. 
Saturday: Interval Run. + Arms HIIT. 
Sunday: Mini HIIT with Wendy. 

Thoughts... 

Today, I got into size 22 pants! Zipped... too tight to be seen in public. But zipped! I traded some books and movies for some smaller clothing. I took photos today and I'll be posting them in a tab or something since there are so many of them. They are going to be my "start" clothing for a challenge I'm holding for myself or the next one Mir does. 

I have a going away party this weekend. There will be lots of food. I'm going to eat some of it. Truth. So I have to be really diligent this week with eating well if I want to see under 300 by next sunday. 

The Job Situation... 

I'm so excited to feel focused again. I got past the early termination, you can't stay with me for more than a week - so find a sublet, savings not big enough for the move in three weeks PANIC/STRESS. 

This week is my summer break. It is one week of freedom before school starts. It is one week to get rid of the stuff in my house. Box up anything that can just be put away. Put in a few hours with the music dept.

On the 14th, I'll be starting 3 jobs...
  • Monday - Friday: 3:15- midnight (I assume I have this job. I have my second interview monday. It's a high turnover call center and I'm smarter than a brick. I should get in). 
  • Mon, Wed, Fri: 8am - noon. (through the dept that just forced me out of my job early)
  • Saturday: 8-5 music dept...   (flexible, work whenever hours). 
So I'm thinking this week... this very dead week... I'm going to clock 30 hours at the music dept cataloguing string music. Then submit my 10 hour a week time card and be able to keep my weekends open. 

I have time to be fit. I have time to come up with a game plan for this upcoming scary terrible week. I have time to do the mountain of laundry. I have time to menu and shop prior to the week starting.

Cons 
- no time with three jobs. 
- compromised sleep patterns. 
- less time to make food. 

Pros
- 2 miles from call center, I can do my interval runs! 
- No dress code (workout gear!)
- MONEY!!!! (less stress!)
- Challenge to see how quickly I can adapt. 
- Remind myself what it's like to not be boss. 
- Remember how to learn a new job.


The Moving Situation... 
I have a sublet!!! I'm moving out to Brooklyn. I have a place to stay the DAY I arrive. No needing to crash on a friend's couch. No need to put people out. I've been able to figure out how to get there from the airport. The girl who is subletting is a friend of a friend. She's going to still be there for a week or so, staying with a friend in a different apt. She will show me around and help me get my bearings. 

I'm moving with a friend from Idaho, Shasta... she's actually going to share the room with me. Our costs are HALVED. Even if the job stuff goes all to hell, I will have enough to get me through! 

Best part... are you ready for this?! New apartment is within one mile of the following... 
  • Organic food Co-Op. 
  • Prospect Park (for running!) 
  • Target and Old Navy so I can cheaply keep up with my dropping sizes! And buy affordable tampons. 
  • Laundromat. 
After doing all the math... I will actually be making more this way than when I would if I had been able to keep the original job. Breathe easy. Leave off in good shape. I can take a deep breath... funny how the stress lets up and I drop 4lbs in a week. I can do anything good!!!    


Wendy over at eatsleepmove and I had a great conversation yesterday. Talking about faith. I'm not religious which sometimes makes me feel like an outsider in the fat blogging arena since weight loss can be such a spiritually related experience as well. 

But I do have faith that if I do everything in my power to set a plan in motion and then let go... things will work out. I can't prove that it will. I'm not owed anything... I am not entitled. I have to do my part. I must trust that what happens is for the best. Whether it be a "learning experience" (see: crappy, but an opportunity to grow) or whether it goes smoothly... I am a person. People are highly adaptable. We survive. We cope. We grow and learn and strive. 

I have done what I can. I have set my job stuff in motion. I have worked for the past 7 years in preparation for this. I have gotten a sublet. I will trust that I can find a job when I relocate. I trust that someone out there is looking for an employee just like me. (hopefully in the personal assistant/administrative assistant realm). 

Big Fat Faithful, Trusting, Successful Love, 
Nanette

 

Monday, April 16, 2012

All aboard the thought train!!!

So this split focus thing is killing me. This weekend alone, I have spent $60 going out... consuming food that isn't healthy, booze and even a dessert. I still managed to lose weight - luckily. I really think that was a fluke.

I have this pattern. I can usually concentrate on 3-4 things in my life and do them all well. Right now I'm so overwhelmed with all the stuff I've been trying to fit in and stress out about that I haven't been doing ANYTHING well. Here goes the thought train... All aboard!

A) New potentially romantic interest - this always makes things sort of go to crap and occupies way more of my thoughts than it should. And let's face it... obsession is ugly. I don't want to be ugly.

B) Finding a Job in NYC - I'm jumping the gun here. I'm not in the city yet. I can put this on the back burner for a couple weeks. But it does come with all the "I need a professional interview outfit!" Which contradicts G. Even that is jumping the gun. I don't know what size I will be when I get there!

C) Piano Tests = Graduation - Last week I found out that the pressure is still on high. With lessons this week it's even higher. For some reason this "easier" set of scales is harder than ever and I've got an entire piece to learn. But without the degree... I'm going to have a hell of a time with B) getting a job in NYC and no one wants to date a jobless bum. So it helps with A) New potentially romantic interest as well.

D) Eating right - This takes focus. This takes planning. This takes NOT giving in to the easiest way out because you were all stupid and twitterpated over some BOY or stuck in a practice room.

E) Working out - Planning work outs that don't tax the same part of the body each time. Finding work outs that keep me engaged. Working up to the 30 minutes of running that you want to do with Mr. Option A... A positive way to obsess, if you going to.

F) Moving - There is so much to be done around my house. Sell stuff. Ebay my formal gowns (seriously folks, if you've got some fat friends (26/28/30), I'm selling off a few really beautiful items). Sell off my vintage purse collection. Selling off my fancy shoes. Selling off my vintage jewelry. *sigh*

G) Saving/Making Money - This is REALLY the only thing I can productively do for myself in this move to NYC. Getting a job is going to take me BEING there to interview. People doing sublets don't want to talk to someone who wants one all the way in JUNE. What I can do is save money...  it buys me more time to get a job. It will also enable me to eat healthy instead of cheaply while I'm out there. It's also making me assess every purchase... well... how much toilet paper do you need in about 1month and a half. Shampoo? Tampons? Don't be wasteful. Save your pennies.

H) Online dating... I know I've already mentioned Mr. Option A. Which seems to have run a little cold lately... probably due to slight obsession backed up by not having MET in real person. But I have this constant niggling want for attention from the opposite sex. I don't know if it's a "validate me" thing. I really don't think it is... I think it's my new distraction technique for the stress I'm feeling. (I do that. A LOT).

Okay... So now you know what's buzzing around up there...   I WILL FOCUS. I will prioritize.

1) Piano/Graduation - Duh. I've been working on this degree for 7 years. It would be RIDICULOUS not to finish it this close to getting out of here. Plus it prepares me for success in so many ways after the fact.

2) Saving/Making Money - Concentrate on SAVING. Concentrate on not buying in excess. Concentrate on using the food you have and supplementing with grocery purchases. You don't need any new clothing right now (though I DID just buy new running shoes). You don't need to go out to eat a $10 salad you could make at home for $3.

3) Eating Right - Making menus and buying smart go hand in hand. I can eat healthily. I will pay closer attention to the cost of certain items to see how I will be able to eat on $15-20 a week when I get to NY.

4) Working out - I'm handing the reigns over to trainer when it comes to work out planning. I'm going to keep up with the interval running so I can feel like I'm doing something about Potential Guy and so I can drop some more weight. I don't want to scare him away with my size (though I've been very up front about my weight).

Everything else, moving, online dating, applying for jobs, finding a sublet, new potential romantic interest...   You can all take a back seat. I have two more weeks until I am done with piano. Then I can pick one to put back in on top and take more control over my working out.

I will not lose my laser like focus and determination. I'm tired of feeling like refracted light. I need to feel productive. I need motion. I need progress. I can do anything good!!!!


Accountability...

Menu
Breakfast: banana w/1tbsp peanut butter.
S: Fruit leather.
L: tuna salad on spelt bread.
S: baby carrots.
D: Spinach, celery, tomato, avocado, black berry, sunflower seed + balsamic salad.
S: cottage cheese.

Workout
25 pushups
25 squats
25 side lunges right
25 side lunges left.
50 bicep curls
25 tricep dips
25 vertical jumps.
5 downward facing dog pushups.

Big Fat FOCUSED Love,
Nanette

Friday, March 16, 2012

Having a tough day

Well technically yesterday got tough around midday. I always rant and rave about poor communication in the office and I always get uppity and self-righteous about people disrespecting others' time. Yeah... Kinda called the kettle black with my actions. I gave someone a 1pm dead line and then I went into work early... changing the deadline to like... 10am. But it was something I could remotely take care of from home (aka, uploading a file to a print server). However, the person that needed to give me the newly edited program wanted to go over it hard copy and scheduled his day around a 15 minute edit time with me at 1pm. I felt like a giant ass.

Fast forward to the next job (library). I popped in early since my voice student was a no-show. I was talking to a coworker. It got gossipy and I didn't stop it... So I was participating in something that again, I'm a giant advocate of NOT DOING. I'm quite openly against it. If there is an issue or you have issue with someone... in my rule book, you talk directly to that person and no one else. Well... I kettle blacked all over that situation.

I'm not much by way of crying, but usually I have this GIANT sense of dread and disappointment. I've fixed the situations. But it's not the situation... it's that I disappointed myself and then beat myself up about it.

I totally ate my feelings last night and today, instead of waking up and working out like I told myself I would, I just didn't care. Apathy... my personal weight loss MONSTER.

I practiced piano. Wrote a few letters. Went to the tea house for tea (which I don't count on the lent thing since it's zero calories and under $2.00). Bought some stuff at the Persian Bazaar. Made lunch...

hummus. <---carb.
falafel <-------sat fat and carb
lavash <-----CARB.

For the first time in two months, I am uncomfortably full. And even more disappointed in myself. (cyclic, I know). But I've gotta get back on top of my shit. One bad day... on top a week without my work outs... on top of a wheelbarrow full of carbs... this close to weigh in. I kinda think I'm screwed this time.

Tomorrow morning is a PiYo class with trainer. I refuse to whine about it. I refuse to gripe. I will get my ass in gear. I'm also going to get a pre-bed work out in tonight. Nothing crazy like the normal HIIT stuff, but something none-the-less.

Big Fat FATFATFAT Love,
Nanette

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Food and Good News

I've been struggling with water consumption for Allan's Challenge. I'm supposed to be drinking 160oz. a day. I haven't been forgetting my water bottle... I just haven't been very thirsty. So I wind up not drinking much during the day and then trying to get 3-4 liters in while at work... Which, I've been able to do with a trip to the bathroom every hour. heh!

I've also been eating more carbs this week. I mean... for the first time in weeks I ate a bowl of pasta with pesto. The calories have been in check and I'm still seeing a smaller number than Sunday's weigh in. So I'm not going to be super concerned about it. 

In addition to carbs... it's been fish fish fish! I'm kinda on a salmon kick. Can't get enough. Want it for lunch. Want it for dinner. 

This is a very important diet week as trainer cancelled two work outs this week and I had to take a piano test instead of going to swim today. So I've worked out ONCE this week (don't worry, I have another on on Friday and Saturday). Hence all the long thoughtful posts this week as well. I've got some time to look inward and process. In a way, it's been such a nice break, just a little mix up of the normal routine, let my body recover. 

I would also like to share my excitement with you guys today! I passed the second of 4 piano scale tests! I'm down to the really hard ones... the harmonic minors. Ugh... and two piano pieces. Debussy and Schubert. 

and then... 

I'm done with my degree. 

Part of the internal digging has helped me wade through some of the stress and anxiety over moving. I sat down with my calendar yesterday and wrote down all my bill due dates on the calendar, in addition to all my paydays and set out a financial plan for getting bills paid and still being able to save about $200 a paycheck.

The next step is brushing up my resume so I can send it out in May before I travel out there in June. I want to land a job before I get out there. A fortunate turn of events this week has led to me moving out there at the same time as one of my friends... so instant roommate... and we have a mutual friend out there working in real estate. She's keeping an eye on openings at reasonable prices. She's also thinking of living with us. So hurrah... instantly 2 roommates that I'm familiar with! 

Savings: check
Apartment: check
Job: almost... 
Degree: almost... 

I'm halfway to feeling secure.... I feel like I can breathe again. 

Big Fat 5 year plan Love, 
Nanette

Sunday, December 4, 2011

CDCC # whatever... I've lost track

Weigh in: 329 (-0)
water: 3/7...   boo.
exercise: 5/7... okay.
veggies: 3/7... needs improvement

Morning after wingman-ing
Nursing an amazingly wicked hang over today. I was wingman last night for a friend... mission accomplished, just sayin'. It has been over a year since I've had anything to drink and there's less of me this time... man. Not doing that again for a very long time. But the drag show was fun. Glitter, lip-syncing, dirty jokes and men that walk better in heels than most women.

I would like to announce that I have fixed my creative writing grade (had some absences). So there's one crappy stress out of the way. I'm doing what I can to minimize that and make life simple. I'm trying to get all my homework for the week done today so that this week is just showing up, exercising and eating right.

Today
- finish French diction recitation.
- piano lesson for pedagogy.
- prep voice notes for pedagogy portfolio.
- edit two english pieces for creative writing portfolio.
- complete peer reviews on 3 english pieces.
- begin AND COMPLETE analyzing the Beethoven Variations (dread).
- Make chocolate covered pretzels for the student recital on Thursday (stores well).
- GROCERY SHOP.
- Make and send some christmas cards.
- Write the weekly letters to Tracy, Ashley and Emily.


This is my last week of real classes (dead week). Finals week I only have one actual final that's written. The rest are small projects - take home stuff. And no exercise classes on finals week. I've been coming up with a game plan for activity though. The guy I normally work out with (trent), says he's willing to go every day. It will kick my pants. It will be something different. I will have time to lengthen our weight lifting. And we can do it later than 7am. Since we're both here during the break... and both have gym memberships we're going to do 5 days of work out in a row... cardio+weights+stretching (which I know how to do now, thank you dance class). And on the 6th day... there was swimming. And on the 7th day... there was rest. This is the plan anyway. It might be modified as we find out what juries Trent has to play the piano for.

Swimming has to take a back seat until I'm in class. Trent is a terrible swimmer and it slows me down sometimes because I want to help him learn - not the reason I'm there. But I can usually get a decent work out in and help him learn a concept. Boy cannot relax enough to float for his life. He normally runs a few miles every morning and lost 60lbs over a year ago... most importantly, he's maintained it. He likes to take people on runs with him... Younger "healthier" people... and then see if he can keep up or if they can keep up with him. So there is a tiny sense of satisfaction that he is SORE the next day after I've worked him out in the pool. The voice of reason tells me that he's using new muscles and that he's out of his element. It's fun to see the tables turn, if only briefly to have the student teach the teacher. In that way, I so enjoy that we help each other.

I'm still plateau-ing. I'm not too angry about it... It's frustrating. But I haven't been concentrating hard enough on the weightloss part of my life. So it makes sense. End of semester has got me thinking - dad, finals, broke, dad, finals, fat, no... unfat, dad, finals, broke, dad, broke, laptop screen, broke, finals, upcoming forced vacation (work for the uni), MORE broke.

It's big decision time....
I've been offered an EXTREME discount to go to Europe with the choirs. I guess Dr. A needs altos. It directly conflicts with my financial plans for moving to New York. I've also got a bit of dental work that I'm getting done. Three major competitors.

Europe - $2000 + food, trinkets, passport.
NYC - $5000 (beginning nest egg).
Dental - $1500 (implant and wisdom teeth extraction).

I've enrolled for school again. I have ONE CREDIT to finish. Which I could do on my own without enrolling but who is going to give this girl a loan to move across country. I need that financial aid. Yes, abusing the system. All's fair in education and money.  I will be getting my last student loan. I'll be getting $4000 back. Plus $2000 tax return (which I could just dedicate to EU). Plus a pretty decent job and near zero monthly expenses - I've paid them all in advance.

IF I eat healthy. Cook at home. Buy more produce in a timely manner. And avoid any surprise medical costs... I THINK I can afford everything and not have to make a decision to not do something. I would feel so uncomfortable moving to NY with less than that just in case it takes a ridiculous amount of time to get a job... plus only moving with 2 suitcases, there's a lot of stuff to buy. Lordy, I want to be a smaller size... You can pack more clothing that way. It would be so nice to be able to pack things like books and journals and memories. I'm going to have to box them up and ask mom and dad to ship them for birthdays and christmas over the next few years.

Don't even get me started on the whole minimizing the crap in my apartment thing and trying to decide what to keep, sell or donate.

Anyway...   just a peek into the stress I keep talking about. Stress? obsession? Cyclical thinking? A life NEAR motion? Cusping on the brink of something... (328lbs, maybe?)   Nearing the beginning of the next book of Nanette's life series... I've always hated how slowly books end. But that much closer to the next exposition, the beauty of a new life made!

done. must be done.

Big Fat Cusping Love,
Nanette

P.S. Dad's doing a lot better. they've got him in an inpatient Physical Therapy place. He's getting a lot of work done... sitting, rolling, wheel chair transfer from bed, wheel chair transfer to toilet, sitting for longer periods of time. He's still on a LOT of pain killers and he says he's very sore and that they work him beyond what he can do. (which means they're doing they're job). I hope he doesn't give up or get belligerent - he's off the hardcore opiates, so his filter should be back to functioning.
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...