The Dates...

Okay... I promised... so here we go.

Saturday (landed): Date with the boy on the upper east side. We had pizza (my first of the trip) and watched movies at his place. He's going to school and that's about it. No work. But he lives with the parents so he can survive. They go to Martha's Vineyard on the weekend so it wasn't too awkward. But leaving time came and he refused to walk me to the subway. Instead HE GAVE ME DIRECTIONS. I asked him again "So, it's my first day in this city and you're just going to GIVE ME DIRECTIONS? Why not just walk me?"

"I've got stuff to get done before my parents get back." {Immediately feel like he's not interested AND like I'm in 8th grade}. Kiss grade: B

Sunday: Friend date with my old housemate, Tracy. She's one of my favorite people in the whole world.

Monday: Date with Graphic Designer. We talked online for like... 10 minutes and then decided to go to dinner together. He took the train to my station. We explored the neighborhood for a little while (which was nice to have company while doing). Then went to a place called "The Farm" for dinner. Cute guy. Shorter than me. But he's cute. And apparently he makes money. Heh. We talked about living cheaply and about how we both agree we'd rather have a good savings account than a fancy overpriced apartment. We got into some huge discussion about the current presidential race. I'm predominantly Democratic, though I don't belong to a party. But there's no way in hell I'm going to get behind Romney after he's buddied up with Frank VanderSloot and Tom Luna. No Second date so far. No physical contact whatsoever on the first date. But he was sweet and I WALKED HIM TO THE SUBWAY.

Tuesday: Date with the Stock Broker. I met him near City Hall. (But didn't take my camera, sorry guys). He took me on a walking tour of the area. Took me through a Century 21 and told me to pick out whatever I wanted. I told him I couldn't do that. I just couldn't. We walked by the 9/11 site and watched some of the construction. Then went for sushi at this place where all of the owners and servers knew him by name. He talks a mile a minute, so I had a hard time getting a word in edge-wise. Then he started telling me who I was since I wasn't doing much talking. "You're too quiet. You stick out. You're bright eyed. New York will take that out of you. You don't seem to have a personality (my personal fave). You are naive. You are going to be easily taken advantage of here." And I know that most of it was coming from an Impose a personality place... and partially from the protection place... and the you've been warned place. But seriously?! No personality? Maybe if you'd SHUT UP for 5 seconds or maybe ask your date some freaking QUESTIONS instead of just telling your date what's she's like... maybe you'd find that she does have a personality... and manners to boot! No kiss. But a very lovely time aside from getting mad for that bit.

Wednesday: Date with the Israeli guy. We wandered for a good 1.5 hours through East Village. I was aiming to get away from traffic and loud noises and he was trying to aim us toward hustle and bustle. So I was feeling a little impatient off the bat. Then his nerd potential started to slowly reveal itself. Obsession with asian cultures, kung fu, japanese tea service, anime. Which is a BIT much for me. But he's 100% sweet. Like me, he's 100% poor. So we split the cost of things. He's terrible at math. Because it wound up with me paying $4 more than my share. But really? It's $4. I'm not going to make a big scene over it. (rather, just report it to my blog). We went to Union Square and he was all sweet. Kissed a little. Then walked me to my train... and waited for it to arrive before catching his own. Kiss score: D.

Let me break this down for any of you boys out there... Awesome kissing does NOT START with your mouth open. That's something you work UP to. Little kisses that get bigger. Not I'm going to eat your face like a sandwich.

Thursday: Date with Madison Square Garden Sports Journalist. Little asian guy. We've been talking for like... 2 months. Nice. Nervous. We went out toward Atlantic Avenue (see monopoly) and wandered around for another 1.5 hours. It was pretty late, like 1am, because he has odd working hours and I didn't feel like going to bed yet. So we wind up on the Brooklyn Promenade (romantic-y bay outlook area/park). And he tries to get all frisky. I'm okay with kissing. But anything else, ESPECIALLY on the first date, ESPECIALLY in public. Not so much. I physically had to remove his hands from me and say "I'm serious when I say stop it." So there's a little rape-y vibe happening there (good thing I've got 4 inches height and 130lbs on him). And he happens to be the absolute worst kisser I've ever experienced. I've never clinked teeth before. Or felt like my face was going to be chewed off...   or felt like I was kissing a drinking fountain. Not sexy. Overly aggressive in every way. Such a turn off.

Friday: Friend date, turned date with Record Store guy. I've been talking to him for 2 months or so as well. And we both sorta agreed that friends is a good place for us. That being said... I was going to go meet my new friend. I took a train 2 hours out of the city to hang out. I stayed over at his other friend's place. Record Store guy was so nice and funny and easy to spend time with... and again, we were pizza and movie-ing. But this time it was great. And we were doing just fine with the friend date... until he kissed me. And thank the up-aboves he did! FINALLY a good kisser. I was losing hope for NY. He drove me back to my place on Friday... and dropped me off at my door. I want to see him again. But I'm not sure I can with the distance.

Saturday: I become the queen of poops and dating stops for a little while. I had to cancel the second date with Israeli guy. But we rescheduled.

Big Fat Boys Are Confusing Love,
Nanette

On the Up and Up.

I'm feeling better!

Yesterday I got out of the house and I'm a much happier person already! I made it out to get laundry done. I went to tea/coffee with a guy. I signed up for the gym and got my pass. I had an interview. I went to a concert. There was a lot of living to make up for.

Today I went into the gym to have my free session with a trainer. Let me just say... DEMOTIVATING. This super hot, fit, black guy saying, "your core is so weak." When I'm sweating there thinking, "you try this at my weight and say that it's easy, Mother F*****!" He looked at me like I was crazy when I told him I wanted to lose 145lbs in the next 1.5-2 years. He looked at me like I was even crazier when I told him I've been doing Tabata style body weight exercises and have lost 70 (ish) pounds already. And again, I was met with surprise when I told him I normally work out 5-6 days a week.

We did the fitness assessment and I've lost a little bit of what I can do over the past 4 weeks of no training. I was raining sweat, but I do that at the mere mention of exercise. And he's standing next to me saying, "Quit when you can't do it anymore." So I kept going. My version of can't do it anymore is muscle fatigue and an actual inability. I was slowing down on the stair step thingy. Before time was up he told me to just stop.

Boils down to this. No positive feed back. No vision expressed for where we could be going with this or what kind of things he's looking for. No explanation of what muscle groups are being used. Some form advice and a whole lot of joking around with the other trainers. Including racial and sexist jokes. No thank you, sir. I refuse to pay you for your time.

Game plan. I'm going to do what's been working so far. Some tabata and then additionally...

Friday: 30 min cardio. 30 min upper body weights (8-12 reps, 10 machines).
Saturday: Off - Busiest gym day.
Sunday: 30 min cardio. 30 min core.
Monday: 30 min upper body weights. 30 min cardio.
Tuesday: 30 min lower body weights. 30 min cardio.
Wednesday: 30 min cardio. 30 min core.
Thursday: 30 min cardio. 30 min lower body weights.

That trainer can suck it. I'll continue to find success and he won't be a part of it. That's for damn sure. My workouts are a positive experience and I don't need a freaking rain cloud around reminding me how fat or unfit I am, but rather one noticing that I'm willing to challenge myself and work harder than I ever have to reverse that. Sorry sir, aside from today, there's no room for you in my weight loss story.

Plus imagine how devastating that would have been for me if I went in there 70lbs ago and in a much more fragile state of mind. Gah! Getting mad all over again. Chill out, Nanette

Big Fat Trainer Shopping Love,
Nanette

6 hours of exercise: hour one.

So I got scheduled for an interview yesterday. Still under the weather, I decided to go anyway. I mean, I'd been slave to the toilet for like... 2 days already. I hadn't eaten anything, so I should be fine. Showered, dressed up, put on a little makeup. Started hoofing it to my train.

I decided to take the train that's further away from my place because I certainly wasn't going to be able to go to the gym yet in my current state of don't-poop-your-pants. I kinda booked it because I was excited about the interview.

The train was taking FOREVER. Meanwhile, My hair is starting to dry and some of the moisture was finding it's way down my forehead. Not unusual. Then I started feeling clammy everywhere else. Whatever, Nanette, just take off your jacket. Cool down. No need to run anywhere.

The ride was horrible. Tons of people in a tiny car. Everyone touching. Humid. I'm still clammy and doing anything I can to catch a little breeze.

I hopped off the subway and got up to some fresh air. Thank God. Still sticky and trying to sorta slow down and give myself a second to breathe and cool down and calm down, I sorta meandered toward the job interview. I found the building pretty easily. Showed my ID. Got on the elevator... went full body clammy again. My wet hair still hadn't dried. Humidity? Sweat? Gross.

The gentleman met me for the interview... I sat down and filled out some more paperwork and tried not to drip on my light-colored sateen jacket. My eyes weren't fully focusing. A fever was setting in. I finished the paperwork with a few scribble out errors (ugh!) and sat down for my interview with the business owner. He had a fan in his office. I feel that was my only respite.

I tried too hard to be friendly. I came off cavalier and entitled. I dropped a name. I discussed the Tony's (it's a garment place). I sat in my puddle thinking "god, I hope my dress doesn't look like I peed myself when I stand up." It was a terrible interview. On the way out the gentleman asked if I needed to use the restroom. I didn't know if that was a sign? Did I look like I'd peed myself? Like I needed to collect my thoughts or something? Did I have a sense of urgency about me? Maybe.

"I was planning on stopping by on my way out. Just near the elevator, right?"

"You'll need this." He hands me the key attached to a lacy thong.

Maybe he only offered because that's the polite and mannered thing to do? I don't know. I've never offered my toilet to someone on their way out. Is that a New York thing?

Anway, I berated myself the entire way home. I blew the interview. It would have been such a great work space too. Lots of clients, fast-paced. IMPORTANT work. ugh. Sitting on the train, I started getting light headed. And the lady next to me with the perma-sourpuss face kept rubbing up against my arm fat, making me more uncomfortable about my current dewiness.

I stopped at the corner store on my way home and bought 3 gatorades. Drank one on the way home. Felt my head come back to earth. Drank one while I told Shasta (roommate) about the terrible day. Drank one and fell asleep.

Didn't get the laundry done. Didn't get a call back on the interview.

However...

Didn't poop myself either.

And I got about an hour of walking in. (1/6 of the way there on the weekly challenge).

So it wasn't a completely negative experience. Still sick. Still dehydrated. Still have another interview tomorrow. I will blow them away. They will hire me. I WILL HAVE JOB.

Big Fat Fever-ing Love,
Nanette

SSSD week one wrap up.

Weight: 294 (-6!)

Measurements
Waist: 45.5" (-0")
Under Waist: 56.5" (-1.5") WHAT?!
Hips: 60" (-2/3")


Accountability
So, Myfitnesspal hasn't been working out for me. I've been carrying a post it every day and writing down everything I eat on it. I don't know the exact amount of calories I'm eating, but I'm aware of the ratio of veg/fruit/protein that I'm getting.

Part of this losing so quickly has to do with a rather upset tummy. I've been spending a bit of time on the toilet the past 24 hours and dropped 4lbs overnight. So I'm staying in and hydrating today and probably going to eat some cottage cheese. Gotta try and solid things up. heh. TMI? I don't care.

Photos...   Okay guys, Here are some photos of the NY move. I'm not a great photographer, but you'll sorta get the idea.

Shasta... The bed we sleep on together. There's more to the apt. But probably not too interesting. 

After I went to see Allan, I know, I should have gotten a photo with him. 

The Room I share with Shasta. 

The courtyard of our apt. 

The street view in front of our little abode. 

My local station. Lovely outdoor station, I may hate that in the next few months. But for now, It's charming. 

My friend Laura and I out on Union Square after a very successful interview. 

graffiti that made me laugh. 

Forgetting I'd zoomed in. 

Right BEFORE my interview with Allan. 

So there are some of the adventures. I'll have more soon...   and I'll probably post some more about the dates and stuff later this week. 6 dates, 8 days. Tell you what, that's one way to keep the grocery bill down.

Wendy... over at Eat Sleep Move talked with me last night over the phone. Getting all the gory date details and hearing the stress garbage... I've had two job offers, but have been scheduled at either one, so I'm continuing on with my job searches as though I hadn't gotten my hopes up. Without employment, I can't make commitments to things like a gym or buying new, smaller clothing... It's just such a level of stress I'm unaccustomed to. This is the longest I've ever gone unemployed... going on 14 days.

I'm losing weight, but I fear some of that is my muscle mass that I've worked so hard for. As fitness has not been the main focus of my life right now. Anyway... Wendy, out of the sweetness and kindness of her heart, hooked me up with a gym pass for the next three months. When she did, I broke down sobbing. One less thing on the plate to worry about... I'm so grateful. I feel like getting to go to the gym is going to at least give me some structure, some alone time from roommate and a way to work some stress out.

This is such a great community... this fat blogging community. Allan is trying to hook me up with a job, Wendy has helped me continue to pursue fitness... All of you support me through thick and the pursuit of thin. I would normally be too proud to accept anything like a gym pass or a job offer, but whereas I'm probably in one of the toughest transitions of my life, I'm SO humbled by the kindness and selflessness of others... and I would be an idiot to not accept the help extended to me by others.

Silly date post later...


This week's challenge: 6 hours of exercise. 

Big Fat GRATEFUL & LOWEST WEIGHT Love,
Nanette

Life continues...

This guy I've been talking to for a couple months finally met up with me yesterday. It was late because he works weird shifts. Sports Journalist for Madison Square. He met me at my station. Then we went over to Atlantic Ave and wandered around Brooklyn Heights. I wish I would have taken my camera. We walked around for a good hour and a half before going out to the pier (aka: romantic outlook-y place). 

It was so nice because yesterday I spent THE ENTIRE DAY in the house (but I did get in a short workout). And ate some pizza. I needed the movement and the fresh air. 

Today I'm heading out on the trains to Wappinger's Falls to meet a friend. Another adventure. Another navigating experience. (I've done pretty well so far). 

I'm feeling really unsettled because I'm not used to being unemployed. I haven't been scheduled yet at either work place. So I keep sending out my resume (like a champ)! But I will say that I'm really enjoying the down time. I haven't had that in a LONG TIME. 

Update you with photos in a couple of days. 

Big Fat Dating Love, 

Nanette

SUPER Late SSSD

Summer Sizzle Slim Down Challenge!

Okay. So I didn't know I got in... and now I'm a bajillion days late posting my first thingy.

Requirements

Photos:

Measurements:
Waist - 45.5"
Under Waist - 58"
Hips - 60 2/3"

Weight: 300

This Week's Challenge

Accountability - write down everything that passes the lips!!!

Since I'm starting late... I'm going to track like a mad woman. That and I probably won't see a ton of results by Sunday. Which is lame. But it'll be okay. TOM is approaching (sunday). But my body isn't reacting to it like normal. Normally this week would have been a week of massive gain. But so far, I've just been dropping all the stuff I gained from the good bye dinners and breakfasts and brunches.

I have NOT been working out! Ugh! I know I'm walking more. I know that the city makes you work. But I really want to keep my fitness up as well as slim down. So I need to commit to a few exercises every day.

- 20 squats
- 10 pushups
- 20 side lunges (10 each side)
- 10 pushups
- 1 min plank.

Each day until Sunday as a get started thing. I brought a ton of post its from Idaho. Post its are my organizing source. I use them as a weight loss ticker on the walls. I use them as a makeshift calendar. I use them as workout guides.

Haircut and a New Low

I found a gym close to my place. Just waiting to get the working started before I can make any more financial commitments. I also took a little time and did about 40 squats, 20 pushups and a 2 min plank yesterday. Nothing crazy. Nothing even big. I've been walking around like a crazy person just exploring and meeting people. 

Food has been pretty "normal" and sensible. 

Breakfast: banana. 

Lunch: Turkey + veg sandwich. 

Dinner: Burger + fries on 10th and Ave A. 

Snack: Ginger ale. 

Snack: serving of chips and 2 servings of cottage cheese. 

I visited my ex yesterday. He's a hair stylist. I've been informed that as long as I'm in the city, I've got free cuts. :) He took me to dinner... gave me a haircut and a welcome to the city gift (maps, maps, maps, candle and a canvas tote). I feel like one of the luckiest girls in the world to have such good friends. I'm very fortunate to have the positive people in my life that I do and the opportunities that life has presented. 

Hair: Before

Hair: After

Internet dating... is awesome in a large city. More than the dates themselves, it's forcing me out of my house and to think about how to get places and time my excursions. Last night's date and I wandered around east village for an hour or so (lots of walking) then took pause at a Japanese tea room. It was lovely. 

Best part of all... I feel like I'm putting in less effort on the weight loss thing. Just staying out and active and refraining from eating everything. I'm seeing results. 

Down to 300 today. :) New lowest weight! 

Big Fat VICTORY Love, 

Nanette