Self-Challenge Begins. Stats.

I've deleted all my old stats so I can't look at them and think, "Oh how far I've fallen." Because I'm definitely thinking it. I just don't want the constant reminder.

Starting anew.

Weight: 311.4 -------------> Goal: 250 (-61.4)
Waist: 47" ------------------>Goal: 41"
Hips: 63" ------------------->Goal: 58"

First Month Photos...

I'm on Day Two of 150oz of water.

Yesterday, I made it to 116oz. Today to ensure my success, I've started off with 48oz. I've also bleached out my nalgene bottle for the week.

I did 15 min of yoga this morning. I am going to do another 15 min before bed. Working at a desk for 8+ hours a day and then having built different muscles from all the NYC-style walking... I've developed some serious stiffness.

When I was in swim class, for our final we had to do reports on the weekly health articles the teacher assigned for us to read. One of them was the importance of spinal flexibility with aging. It then quoted some study about seated forward bends. You know, the ones where you sit with your legs straight in front of you and you reach for your toes...   something about that is supposed to be indicative of how well your spine will age. (I'm screwed, I've never been able to do that). I like the standing forward bends. I need gravity to help push me around.

Having sorta lost a lot of the flexibility I worked on gaining this last year, I can definitely say I feel 10 years older. Time to get it back.

When I am fatter... I feel OLDER.

This week I'm concentrating on HYDRATION and FLEXIBILITY.

Big Fat Floaty and Floppy Love,
Nanette

Midweek Update... and a gross photo.

Okay. So life hasn't fallen completely apart since Sunday.

Monday... I stayed home and tried to nurse the sore throat while it just got worse. I decided that Boy II is dumb and the ultimatum thing is a BIG RED FLAG... So I'm giving Boy I another chance.

Tuesday... I went to the job interview at the kids store/guided play classes. It went SO well! Met the 4 different managers and the CFO, went to two different locations for tours, sat in on a really playful and fun kids class. Everyone was kind, enthusiastic. They promote within house and ALL of the managers INCLUDING the CFO try to put in a little time as a Front Desk Admin just to brush up on procedures. It's such a great work environment. If I pass a background check (psh... allllll those felonies), I believe I will be getting a job offer from them shortly.

The doc texted me back on Tuesday and told me to visit a different doc in the building and asked him to see me as a favor. So I got a $500 check up for free. I've got a wicked case of strep and finally have some antibiotics. (shhhh... I didn't know what it was prior to the interview - hope no one gets sick).

Look at those things. They look like Bleu Cheese Nuggets. So swollen. So irritated. 

I'm done taking the birth control until after my lady doc visit in a week or so. My moods have leveled out so much already.

Also, got to talk to my friend back home. She's decided to give me a loan to replace the loan from my roommate. Sounds silly, right? Well Friend Back Home makes a good amount of money every year and doesn't live with me so I'm not reminded that I'm in debt every morning, noon and night. So I took her up on it. Under the condition that she doesn't see payment until I'm squared away in a full-time position and my stress has gone down. And mom and dad caught wind of the illness stuff and the stress stuff, they've put a little check in the mail. $100. It's totally enough to make the difference between eating a cheap and healthy salad and eating nutritiously negative ramen. I feel like I can handle this. Life is back within my grasp. I feel bad accepting money from my parents because they aren't that wealthy right now... not at all. So I'm hoping that with the potential new job at the kids play place, I can sneak it back to them.

Seriously... I don't know what I would do without my friends and family. I've had so much help with this move. So much support. So many good feelings returned to me. If I can keep my stress in a normal range... I think I'll be able to beat off this immune issue that always arises when I'm stressed to the hilt.

There is that niggling thought that tells me I wouldn't be having this issue... the health issue or the over loaded stress issue if I were eating better and working out. I know that I ultimatum-ed myself a couple weeks ago to start the new work out regime on the 6th. It's going to have to wait until I'm not infected and can breathe and swallow properly. But I'm serious, deathly serious about starting again. I talked to Boy I about it. He'll even support me and work out with me. I want to kick his ass. heh.

Big Fat It's Looking Up Love,
Nanette

Best Intentions...

So... here we are on Tuesday and I STILL HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE GYM.

Monday was a lot of running around. (grocery shopping, job interview, meeting an Idaho friend and stuff).

Tuesday was a lot of running around. (two interviews, a long walk through central park, a long walk through astoria to find the groupon restaurant laura and I were going to had closed permanently, then a long walk to find a different restaurant and then getting home late late).

Tomorrow... 90 degree weather, 89% humidity. I'm staying in for the most part. No interviews. I'll be researching temp agencies... and hoping for a call from the chiropractor/nutritionist guy that I interviewed with today (p.s. It seems like the perfect fit. Health and nutrition on top of getting paid, perfect).

I'm also extending a personal challenge to myself. I've already paid for groceries for at least a week. I have an unlimited metro card. I have a gym pass.

Aside from $10 for laundry in the next two weeks. I'm going to see how many days I can go without spending a dime in the city. Boys buying things for me doesn't count. NO PERSONAL SPENDING.

Tuesday: Check - Laura got dinner and I packed lunch.

I'm slowly putting weight back on from the food poisoning. So this is also a health thing. I have a ton of produce in my apt. I just need to eat it... and veer from things like ordering pizza or ostrich burgers or fried things.

Tomorrow, I may be staying in, but I can sit down and have some time to myself to think about my schedule and get my mind in the game. Scheduling a sacred workout time and a menu from the stuff I just bought (ummm... $.75 for a thingy of raspberries, awesome). It'll be nice to have some non-fevered quiet time. Also, I commit to working out tomorrow. Hold me to it, folks.

Think. Center. No dates. No interviews. Just getting my brain and body in sync.

Me + Central Park + a tunnel. 

Fake Rock Climbing. 

The courtyard of the place I Interviewed today. Everyone looks so posh. I need a makeover. 

I love random graffiti... and they have such good taste. 

Big Fat Get It Together Love,
Nanette

SSSD week one wrap up.

Weight: 294 (-6!)

Measurements
Waist: 45.5" (-0")
Under Waist: 56.5" (-1.5") WHAT?!
Hips: 60" (-2/3")


Accountability
So, Myfitnesspal hasn't been working out for me. I've been carrying a post it every day and writing down everything I eat on it. I don't know the exact amount of calories I'm eating, but I'm aware of the ratio of veg/fruit/protein that I'm getting.

Part of this losing so quickly has to do with a rather upset tummy. I've been spending a bit of time on the toilet the past 24 hours and dropped 4lbs overnight. So I'm staying in and hydrating today and probably going to eat some cottage cheese. Gotta try and solid things up. heh. TMI? I don't care.

Photos...   Okay guys, Here are some photos of the NY move. I'm not a great photographer, but you'll sorta get the idea.

Shasta... The bed we sleep on together. There's more to the apt. But probably not too interesting. 

After I went to see Allan, I know, I should have gotten a photo with him. 

The Room I share with Shasta. 

The courtyard of our apt. 

The street view in front of our little abode. 

My local station. Lovely outdoor station, I may hate that in the next few months. But for now, It's charming. 

My friend Laura and I out on Union Square after a very successful interview. 

graffiti that made me laugh. 

Forgetting I'd zoomed in. 

Right BEFORE my interview with Allan. 

So there are some of the adventures. I'll have more soon...   and I'll probably post some more about the dates and stuff later this week. 6 dates, 8 days. Tell you what, that's one way to keep the grocery bill down.

Wendy... over at Eat Sleep Move talked with me last night over the phone. Getting all the gory date details and hearing the stress garbage... I've had two job offers, but have been scheduled at either one, so I'm continuing on with my job searches as though I hadn't gotten my hopes up. Without employment, I can't make commitments to things like a gym or buying new, smaller clothing... It's just such a level of stress I'm unaccustomed to. This is the longest I've ever gone unemployed... going on 14 days.

I'm losing weight, but I fear some of that is my muscle mass that I've worked so hard for. As fitness has not been the main focus of my life right now. Anyway... Wendy, out of the sweetness and kindness of her heart, hooked me up with a gym pass for the next three months. When she did, I broke down sobbing. One less thing on the plate to worry about... I'm so grateful. I feel like getting to go to the gym is going to at least give me some structure, some alone time from roommate and a way to work some stress out.

This is such a great community... this fat blogging community. Allan is trying to hook me up with a job, Wendy has helped me continue to pursue fitness... All of you support me through thick and the pursuit of thin. I would normally be too proud to accept anything like a gym pass or a job offer, but whereas I'm probably in one of the toughest transitions of my life, I'm SO humbled by the kindness and selflessness of others... and I would be an idiot to not accept the help extended to me by others.

Silly date post later...


This week's challenge: 6 hours of exercise. 

Big Fat GRATEFUL & LOWEST WEIGHT Love,
Nanette

SUPER Late SSSD

Summer Sizzle Slim Down Challenge!

Okay. So I didn't know I got in... and now I'm a bajillion days late posting my first thingy.

Requirements

Photos:

Measurements:
Waist - 45.5"
Under Waist - 58"
Hips - 60 2/3"

Weight: 300

This Week's Challenge

Accountability - write down everything that passes the lips!!!

Since I'm starting late... I'm going to track like a mad woman. That and I probably won't see a ton of results by Sunday. Which is lame. But it'll be okay. TOM is approaching (sunday). But my body isn't reacting to it like normal. Normally this week would have been a week of massive gain. But so far, I've just been dropping all the stuff I gained from the good bye dinners and breakfasts and brunches.

I have NOT been working out! Ugh! I know I'm walking more. I know that the city makes you work. But I really want to keep my fitness up as well as slim down. So I need to commit to a few exercises every day.

- 20 squats
- 10 pushups
- 20 side lunges (10 each side)
- 10 pushups
- 1 min plank.

Each day until Sunday as a get started thing. I brought a ton of post its from Idaho. Post its are my organizing source. I use them as a weight loss ticker on the walls. I use them as a makeshift calendar. I use them as workout guides.

A Grand List and NSVs

I was reading Lori's Blog today and it just got me all sorts of thinking...   When I get busy, how do I keep this weight loss thing going? How can this be easier? How can I make decisions more effective and helpful for the cause?

These are such important questions for me to address right now... Just about to relocate. I assume there is going to be so much stress. I don't know what my housing/kitchen situation is going to be like. I don't know what kind of budget I'm going to have for groceries. SO much is up in the air right now. But for the sake of having everything I've learned written in one place... here we go.

Nanette's Ultimate List of Making Weight Loss & Life More Manageable

- Make a budget for the month/paycheck. Remember all the monthly bills. Make sure you pay them. It's a stress reducer.
- Make a menu for the week.
- Buy lots of ziploc bags.
- Pre-bake chicken breasts for the week on Sunday, pre bag them.
- Buy veggies. When you get home, immediately wash, chop and bag them so they are easy and quick snacks.
- Make healthy/indulgent trail mix for sweet toothing. (almonds, dried fruit, dark chocolate bits). Pre bag it in single servings for quick munching.
- Have a notebook with quick work out ideas/premade workout plans. separated by time limit and by body part.
- Schedule your week. Be aware of your time and how much of it you spend in front of a computer or sitting. Find even 10 minutes that you can do something active (in 10 min you won't need a long clean up time either).
- Remember that if you put something away from where you got it, you'll spend less time cleaning.
- If you wear comfortable footwear, you're more likely to work out.
- If you have work out clothes that fit, you're more likely to work out.
- Be able to identify when you're whining, making excuses and being obstinate... none of those things help you achieve your goals.
- Spend a little time being grateful. Even if it's on your walk to work, even if it's right before you go to bed... it changes your brain chemistry and thought patterns.
- Don't sacrifice sleep for social life. It will kill all your efforts to reduce stress and lose weight.

And Today's NSV

I wore a dress that I bought ambitiously last year when school started. It is size 26. I was wearing a size 28/30 last august. And the dress looks great... and is actually too big through the chest, back, shoulders and arm scye. For now, I have to dress to my widest point... dear belly... I'll miss you when you're gone. NOT.

Also...   Did a little pampering that I owed myself from hitting the 60lb mark. Got my eyebrows done. I'm a redhead... you other fair and lightly colored people understand what I'm talking about. Wax and tint. :)  Look! I can have facial expressions now!

Aaaaaand... my new trail running shoes came in last week. I took them for a run last night... I definitely need to get my muscles in my feet, ankles and shins to adapt. But they are so comfy and lightweight. I do hereby swear to ONLY USE THEM FOR RUNNING. I've gotta make them last this time. 

Feeling like a champion that I forced myself to go out and run last night though. I was having the beginning of some huge sun migraine from going to a BBQ earlier that afternoon for a couple hours. (it's this ginger thing... gets me every time). But I got off my duff and just did the run. I moved up a level. I'm doing 2x (1.5 min run, 1.5 min walk, 3 min run, 3 min walk). On the cool down I wasn't quite back home so I did two extra 1.5 min runs. Today I'm not feeling nearly as sore as I thought I would be. I'm so excited that I'm adapting... I'm becoming a real runner! slowly, but surely! 

Big Fat NSV and Major List Making Love, 

Nanette

E2E Final Post

Sept 14

April 7

Progress

Weight:
Goal: 299
Began at 325
Down to 308 (-5 this week) and -17 total. Almost met the goal!

Waist:
Goal: 49"
Began at 51"
Down to 46.5" (-.5")


Hips:
Goal: 60"
Began at 65"
Down to 62"... ambitious... I was close? heh.

Sept 14

April 7

I might not have hit the goal weight. But I feel great about what I have accomplished. Doubling up the work outs was hard. I was more careful with my eating this past week. My freaking period stopped finally (not that it was abnormal, I'm just impatient). Yesterday my weight was even LOWER! But I take the "official" weigh in of Saturday morning.

My progress photo shorts are very near retirement. I can now pull them up and down with out unzipping or unbuttoning them. The cami... You can see it gaps around my armpits because I'm getting narrower... but my belly still stretches it. Though not nearly as much.

I believe I have changed every single method that I was planning on using to lose weight.
I've cut calories down to about 1300-1700.
I've stopped spending HOURS at the gym and doing 12-30 minute HIIT work outs.
I've started cooking different things, but I've cut out wheat this time around.

There are no intentions of quitting here. I'm probably going to have to do this for another 1-2 years before I can really hit my goal weight. So I'll continue blogging and following those of you who are still going.

Mir has been awesome for hosting this challenge, particularly through her own hard times. I've loved the small challenge. It's been so much more manageable to get to know each one of you. You guys have all taught me things whether it be through observation or example. It's been great. I'm doing the next challenge (Ready for Summer Challenge) which is much larger and a little less intense, but I like the standard of E2E... the waist measurements, the weigh in, water and calorie goals, plus the mini challenges of RFSC... Another accountability tool! I will still be reading blogs from all those that post and choose to continue.

However, Come hell or high water, I WILL BE MOVING TO NYC Under 300lbs.

Big Fat Losing It Love,
Nanette

E2E - Back on the Wagon #7

Weigh in: 313 (-2)


Waist: 47" (same).


Water: 160 oz 5/7


Workout: 6/5


Food:
Monday -     1400
Tuesday -     1500
Wednesday -  1550
Thursday -    1750
Friday -      1700
Saturday -    1250

Book: I haven't ordered a new one yet. But I've been reading Mark's Daily Apple.

Mom's version of gardening. Yup. Those are silk flowers. 

Buddy: Eaba is still packing up the house but she got a pretty good update in this week.


Quote: This is not a commitment to a challenge or a diet plan. This is a commitment to your body and a commitment to lifestyle change. This a commitment to a healthier tomorrow.


I've been all over the scale this week. Because of that I'm going to try to stabilize things by reducing or at least trying to stay constant with my sodium. I have struggled SO HARD to get 160 oz of water every day. I failed this weekend. But I did well when I was at work and whatnot. 


I'm being knocked flat by my allergies... at least, I THINK it's allergies. You can hear them in my video... they're just rocking out in my sinuses.


Oh! Video! 

Today, I took off with the eating before even thinking about it. 


Breakfast: Plum, goat cheese (2oz). 
Snack: orange, goat cheese (1oz). 
Lunch: smoked salmon. ------------------------------------current spot today 780 calories. 
Snack: pork chop w steamed brussel sprouts. 
Dinner: At my friend's house (not sure what the menu is). 
Snack: At my friend's house. 


I think I can stay under 1900 calories today. Which makes it a success. 


NEXT WEEK'S GOALS
- Work out with Trainer 3x
- Work out on my own 2x. 
- DRINK MY FREAKING WATER! 
- Box up the book shelf. 
- Return library books and borrowed books. 
- NOT SPEND MONEY. 
- Work out days = 1700 calories (not under, but AT 1700). 
- Non work out days = 1300 calories (not under, but AT). 
- Post one new video. 

Personal Mini Challenge 

DAIRY FREE WEEK!!!

Big Fat New Week Love, 

Nanette

Fit Test!

So we did our third monthly fit test... The test is 7 minutes long. So each workout gets 50 seconds and a ten second rest. The three numbers are listed as: first month, second month, this month.

Squats -  38, 32, 36
Pushups - 24, 28, 32
Burpees - 7,  10,  12
High Knees- 43, 66, 65
Switch Lunge - 21, 30, 27
Squats (modification) - 18, 26, 37
Crunches (modification) - 17, 41, 52


I can see why I wouldn't have improved on the high knees, we haven't done them in forever. The switch lunges, I'm a little disappointed in. We've done them a LOT lately - I also realized I'd been doing them wrong, I wasn't bending my knees properly. I suspect that correcting my form is slowing me down there.

I'm super happy to see the burpees getting a little easier and that number going up. I feel like the 300 pushup week helped out with that. Also, the crunches... I will totally throw that improvement to all the competition sit ups we did last week (over 200) and introducing the plank into my life every day.

We did an ab work out after the fit test. Left/right side crunches, leg lifts, plank, star crunches. I've been feeling really good... able to feel my muscles under my fat, able to feel the tightness and the stretch in my core during other movements... and then I see this photo from the weekend that my mother posted last night...

I've got SUCH a long way to go. I'm trying not to get discouraged and what not. There are still plenty of inches to lose...    I keep reminding myself of how many I've lost already. Imagine what that picture COULD have been like. Until my body is emulating the image of myself in my head...   I will be sitting straighter and avoiding cameras still.

I will appreciate all super fat photos of myself. They will mark my progress. I am a beautiful woman and I'm actively changing my body and lifestyle. I am strong. I am willful. I am tenacious and goal-oriented. I will soon be all of those things, jam-packed into a smaller body.

Big Fat Horrible Photo Love,
Nanette

When I Look In The Mirror

Okay, so at this time last year I was prepping for my senior recital. I was eating my feelings, practicing like a crazy woman and flying out to NYC to have my dress made (which fell through and I wound up having to just buy one - which was hard). I was probably mid-6th respiratory infection of the school year and being consumed by apathy.

Because of all that... I had measurements done for the dress. And I just found them again. I can't wait to compare.

Basics - feb 17 2011  new number in blue, march 12, 2011

neck - 16.5" 15.5

Chest - 53.5" 50.

Chest w Breath - 54.25" 51.5

Underbust - 51" 43" (I'm pretty sure that it was taken over a shirt or something the first time)

Waist - 53"47.5

underwaist - 66.5" 58

hips 63.25" 62

Total inches lost: 27.75 

The measurements were taken 2 months before the recital. So by that time I was even larger... and larger and larger until May when I stopped getting bigger and maintained for a while before weaning things like corn syrup and aspartame out of the diet - then doing a juice reboot. 

There are days when I feel like I am just as fat as before. There are also days when I can tell certain things are changing... Like I KNOW my thighs are getting slimmer and I'm losing that weird fat rainbow above my butt and down my hips. And I know that no matter what happens, I'm probably not going to be a huge wearer of bikinis, or taut, or a hard body because of skin issues. 

The days I feel just as fat as before, I notice how the loose skin around my thighs wobbles more than when it was pulled tight with fat. I notice that while the inches are changing, it's just like gravity is pulling down on all my fat. I still have to be conscientious about how long my shirts are in front... 

Then I have a day like today when I realize that shaving my armpits was easier because I can see them better, or that I can wear necklaces that I previously couldn't because of neck fat, or that I'm beginning to get calf definition - and more than just a suggestion of it. 

I was looking at a progress photo (too naked to share) this week and I can tell I'm getting smaller... I also couldn't help comparing myself to a Salvador Dali painting... I looked melty and like i'm deflating. AKA: NOT SEXY. And I get it. I did this to me. Skin takes a while to bring in. Tone as you go. I'm trying to keep my chin up. I'm a body in transition. Gotta be patient. Though, I'll tell you what, under this fat suit, I'm ripped. The interval training I've been doing has me very aware of how much muscle I actually DO have. 

My dad was really excited about my progress this week. I'm proud of him as well. He's able to move so much better than before. He's able to put on his own braces. Get up and around. He can get himself up off the floor when he falls (didn't see that), but he's capable. He's trying to move more. I can see that he doesn't really want to. He doesn't like doing the exercises. They cause him pain. But he sees the results, he's able to do more than lay in a bed while doing word finds and reposting his latest ultra conservative finds on facebook. I'm so happy that he's getting some of his mobility back and that his quality of life is improving. 

After the fattitude post, rettakat mentioned some of the regret she's had and how she chooses to be happy every day. I talked to my dad about that. I asked him "Do you regret not losing weight sooner?" 

"No. I regret letting myself ever get that big. I've done damage to my joints and nerves that I can never undo by allowing myself to get that large." He followed that with a lot of supportive talk about my own weight loss and that he hopes I can keep my fire for it burning. 

Well, I can and will. My recital dress is too big now. I imagine it's going to be my fat item of clothing that I hang onto. You know... the before and after photos with the person standing in one leg of their pants... that will be the dress. 

Filling it out. 

Today. You'd never guess this was tailored. 

Big Fat Body Image Love, 

Nanette

E2E Check in

Weigh in: 316 (-4lbs) 

Waist: 48"

Book: I gave it away to the secretary at the music dept. She was really excited about it.

Food: 6/7. I say six because I didn't track last Sunday and I'm sure I went over the 1700 I allow myself. P.s. The girl scout cookie days still didn't get me above 1400.

Exercise: 4/5 as thursday's swim class was cancelled.

Partner: I feel like I need to do better here... she's logging calories and exercise daily over on MFP and seems to be happy.

Last week's goals

So Goals... - Continue Lent - no eating out.- Midnight bedtime.- Stick to the menu!- Continue to hydrate fastidiously.- Avoid the depression place.- Do 300 pushups over the course of the week (prepping for the 500 push up challenge).
non-fat goals- Read a couple books (and return them).- Ship that box to my brother - Christmas presents, but he's finally done moving.- Avoid spending money!

Overall, though midweek I hit a lull where I hated everything about losing weight, I think this week was a success since I finally saw a lower number on the scale. I've got to cook some more new and simple recipes this week since I'm getting bored. So I've got some research to do, a menu to make and some grocery shopping to do. 



I successfully reignited my want and need to keep going by taking some more before and after photos. I didn't compare with the beginning of this challenge but back to last August. It felt good... and when I get into that crap place, it can be as simple as a hot bath, organizing laundry, cleaning or emptying the garbages to make me feel like I can accomplish things again. 

Thursday, March 2

August

This week's goals

- Continue Lent - no eating out.  

- 160 oz of water a day.  

- Go to both swim classes, NO EXCUSES! 

- Spend a little time in a sauna.  

- Do 300 push ups. 

- Don't poop out midweek on being healthy.  

 non-fat goals
- Read a book. AT LEAST ONE.
- Ship that box. 
- Practice piano at least 3x (Monday, Thurs, Fri).

Big Fat Goal Makin' Love,
Nanette

E2E Check in - midway!

Weight: 317 (-4lbs) 

Waist: 48" (-0") 

Food: 6/8 under 1950 (MFP caloric suggestion) 

Water: 4/7 over 100 oz

Exercise: 3/4 days. 

Partner: I think Eaba has been doing okay. She checked in with me yesterday. We're both on track. 

Support: Been commenting all week. 

I have been SO TERRIBLE at consistency this week... Let's just look at the calories.
Friday:          1,259
Saturday:      1,973
Sunday:        1,005
Monday:         901
Tuesday:      2,153
Wednesday: 1,085
Thursday:    1,918
Friday:         1,159

It looks like overcorrecting. What each day has in common is that I ate six times a day. I ate out on Valentine's Day. I ate out on Thursday. I don't know what the crap happened monday, but I think it was a vegetarian day. I ate a LOT, but just not much in calories.

I'm still under the weather... my tonsils are swelling up (not unusual, but annoying) and I feel like a puffy monster. Could it be all the alka seltzer I had yesterday? Those things are 400mg of sodium a packet. Learning experiences. Found out when I entered it on MFP yesterday... 4 times. It skyrocketed me over my daily limit of sodium - which is one of my hardest nutrients to keep in control.

Okay now that the self flagellation is over. I can celebrate, again, that I finally crossed the 50lb mark! WOOO!!! Crossed and then some. Sitting pretty at -51 total lbs. I can't wait for it to be -55 at the end of next week. (Though I suspect rough times ahead - nearing the commie invasion/TOM).

January 325

February 317

Cool thing about these photos, I've moved down a full size work out pant. (you can see lower fat better that way). I don't see much difference in these photos... which is a little disheartening, but the real show is when the challenge is over. 


What I'm noticing in my body lately is that my sides and back are kinda smoothing out. I'm getting more loose skin everywhere and my stretch marks are relaxing... (aka, not stretched anymore). However, I notice that I'm feeling like a sag monster from outer space. I've been thinking a lot about how I'm probably going to need skin reduction in another 100lbs or so. 


I keep telling myself that, even since the beginning of the challenge, "oh just another 100lbs or so." I'm already down fifty... but the goal is still 100lbs away. I just know I wouldn't be happy with stopping at 268. I could easily get down into the 190's - or lower. 


Another good thing... I told myself that I would start doing certain types of exercise (jumping, running, pushups) when I got out of my 300's because I'm terrified of injury, I worry running/gravitational exercise will pull down on my skin and make it worse, and because I hate the sound fat makes when it hits other fat. Well, here's the thing. I'm over 300lbs and been running. Been jumping, been doing pushups. And let me tell you, If I didn't, I probably wouldn't be this close to getting out of the 300's. 


Quote: This is not a commitment to a challenge or a diet plan. This is a commitment to your body and a commitment to lifestyle change. This a commitment to a healthier tomorrow.


This Week:

Food: Under 1700 calories every day. EVERY DAY. Follow the menu.

Exercise
Saturday: Rest/Sick Day continues
Sunday: Go on a walk! 
Monday: OFF - do stretches. 
Tuesday: Trainer + swim class.
Wednesday: Trainer
Thursday: Swim class + trainer
Friday: OFF - do stretches. 

non-fat goals
finish two more books.
budget this week's paycheck better. 
do something artistic.
get better. 

Big Fat -51LB Love,
Nanette

E2E #5

Uh... heck yeah...

Such a weird butt... It's like I have a rainbow of fat around it while it disappears, creating this concave look.

Weigh in: 323lbs (-8) My butt is disappearing and my legs are getting smaller. I think this is in part due to period being over (water retention) and a lot in part to the new work out.

Waist: 50" (+.5)

Work out: 4/7. 3 with Sarah. I'm not hurting as bad, though there are days. I had non-functioning hamstrings for 3 days this week.

Food: 7/7 under 1900. I kept to my plans. When I went off my predesigned menu, I ate things from other days on the menu (except for BK). Worst eat of the week: Burger King double cheeseburger plain at a whopping 440 calories. {insert excuse} Fact is, I ate it. Other fact is, I ate it and I was still hungry. 440 calories should be enough to fill a person up if you're eating real food.

Water: 6/7 over 100oz. Yesterday I was home all day and just kinda didn't use my water bottle.

Book: Honestly, haven't touched it since last week. I'll get back on that.

Partner: Melissa- She's doing great. Staying active. Joined Curves. Eating at home. She's the next Betty when it comes to logging food every day on MFP.

Support: At least three, if not more.

Quote: This is not a commitment to a challenge or a diet plan. This is a commitment to your body and a commitment to lifestyle change. This a commitment to a healthier tomorrow.


Big Fat Check-in Love, 
Nanette Nielson

Today...

Today's thoughts EXACTLY... 

Death Becomes Her...

I just finished my first day of the bodyrock fitness test with my friend/trainer. I can barely type. I'm feeling a lot of different things...   a) rubber arms. b) like a wuss. c) like I'm not always going to be a wuss. d) SWEATY. We only did about 30 minutes of workout. I've got a notebook. We're going to see how far we can go in the next few weeks. If I like it, I may not even buy that danged gym pass at all.

This weekend, I had the boy over. I made him eat healthy all weekend and I went on 2 one-hour long walks. We did do a lot of laying around and movie watching. But it felt really great to get up and moving after last weeks sedentary crap. I have a hard time logging food and etc while I've got company because it's so very private to me. Weird. I'm a wide open book in most cases.

Eaba asked me where I'd gone this weekend because I hadn't logged into myfitnesspal since Friday. So this weird "can't log in... people watching," paranoia has to be coming from somewhere. Is it a detachment thing? Like not wanting to look like I care too much or work too hard to maintain or lose weight? It certainly shouldn't be. Boy is trying to lose with me (it's a race.). Is a competition thing? I have showed him and given him all the information and resources I've come across. I certainly had the time. I certainly had the resources. I wasn't binge-ing - swear on my left breast because it's my favorite.

Another pattern to chew on...

Big, Fat, Rubber-arm, Love,
Nanette

E2E #3

Okay So NOW the second week is over.

Weigh in: 327 (+2)

Waist: 49.5" (-.5)

Work out: NONE. ABSOLUTELY ZERO WORK OUTS THIS WEEK... maybe half of one.

Food: Alright. Under my 2200 calories every day. But I put a lot of garbage in my body after the midweek check in. Real garbage. Honey bun. Brownies. Carbs have been up up up the last three days of work parties and back to school parties.

Book: It's finally not talking to me about myself esteem anymore which is very exciting. The best prompt it talked about this week was our notion of wasting food. It dared me to eat half of something and then throw the rest away. It also dared me to go through my cupboards and throw anything away that would just be waste for my body instead of proper fuel.

Partner: Melissa is a GRANDMA - a very young one! She's got a new baby girl named Cooper in the family. :)

Support: I've been checking in with many of you out there.

So, let's talk about this gain... Garbage in. Garbage out. It was a rough week. I attended many parties and didn't avoid the goodies like I should. I feel gross about it too - as last night was a very sugary night. So instead of beating myself up about it...   I've gotta come up with a game plan for next week. This was the first week I lost my gym pass and I was a lazy lump on a log. Here goes...

Exercise Plan: I contacted my old swim teacher. She's willing to give me personal training 3x this week (Tues, Wed, Fri) at her place. So it's going to be hardcore body weight exercises (lunges, squats, arm bands, free weights, treadmill). Boy is coming this weekend... so we'll go on a walk every day. It might not be super-cardio-push-yourself kind of walk, but movement none the less.

Food Plan: Having a menu worked half well this week. It worked when I stuck to it. So I'm going to make another menu and try to get high protein calories in there so I can feel fuller, longer. Good news, I'm half broke. I have enough for groceries, but not for going out. So I WILL BE COOKING. (P.S. I also did the dishes today so those aren't hanging over my head.)

Tonight - I'm going to lava hot springs. My back has been killing me. The lumbar area muscles are freaking out, I suppose from not getting as much movement and activity as they're used to.

Day 2 of 30: This is my happy place. I LOVE books. Libraries. Reading. Stories. Novels. Dictionaries. WORDS! How powerful are these little symbols that we interpret!!! I can sit in a room alone and these symbols can make me laugh or move me to tears. It's amazing what can be expressed through words or empathized and sympathized. One of the New Years goals this year is to read 100 books. I can do that. I'd do the BBC list, but I've read most of it. So if you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments!

Big Fat BOOKY Love,
Nanette

30 days in photos

This is a great introduction. Life as I know it right now consists of working everyday. I have two office jobs. Every day I'm reading 100 days of weight loss and keeping notes in my journal. I spend SO much time in front of my computer, roughly 8 hours a day. That's absolutely terrible!!! Come spring break (aka, forced vacation), I will be taking a week off of using any sort of computer aside from cellphone (communication), ipod (who has CDs anymore!?) and to update my challenge post that weekend. 

Last night I was budgeting and it looks like I'll be able to save about $3000 for my move to NYC. I look at that and think, "Wow, only three months worth of living expenses." I'm hoping and praying that it will take me by surprise and I'll be able to live cheaply to compensate for the outrageous housing prices. Right now is the time to train. 

- Only buy what you'll eat and only buy it as often as you can eat it without it going bad. Extra trips to the store just means burning calories, not fossil fuels, since I'm car-less. 

- Cancel netflix. 

- Cancel internet at home. 

- Unplug devices that aren't in use (TV, DVD player, heaters, lamps, laptop charger, Cellphone charger). 

- Wear less clothing... okay, I just don't like to wear clothing, but it cuts down significantly on my laundry bill when I wear things more than once. 

Confession time: Totally ate a pastry last night. It was sickly sweet. I liked it. But I don't feel good about it. I could have had fancy cheese with those calories instead. Alas. Dissatisfaction. 

Big Fat Office Time Love, 

Nanette

A Boise Weekend.

Just got back from a fun weekend in Boise. I got to visit friends who have graduated and/or moved on from the college life. I made new friends. I tried new things. I even got a visit to the gym in. I didn't track calories. But I know I did okay.

Ashley, the one who invited me to stay with her, paid for my bus ticket to and from in exchange for voice lessons. It was such a great experience to teach her. She was responsive and bodily aware. It was definitely more rewarding than the high school student I taught last semester. Her accompanist, Esteban, was so wonderful. He's a classical guitarist. They were working on Bachianas Brasileras. It was the most healthy and helpful collaboration I've ever witnessed. Esteban was happy to hear what I was doing with Ashley and commented on a lot of the things that were working. I found out after the lessons that Esteban has his doctorate from Indiana University (prestigious music program). I love that I had no idea. He chose to just be a musician instead of a doctor of music. He was without pretension. It's possible! It gives me faith that I can escape this program and hopefully find a collaboration of my own that's just as rewarding.

We went to a couple bars. We danced. MAN did we dance (cardio)! My hips are still tight. She threw a house party in my honor. A few of the other Boise friends came out of the woodwork in addition to strangers that she ran into that day and her own collection of people she wanted to share. It was a collection of free-minded, love everyone, hippies. There was a man named Og sporting dreds, one enormous gauged ear, who hugged me and greeted me as "sister." There was also a lot of talk about Burning Man and Rainbow Family Gatherings. A man named Calvin - as in calvin and hobbes, and yes he some times has an imaginary friend. Joe, Jason, Jack, James... I would tell you more if I could remember which one was which. heh.

Ashley, Me, Lindz 

My Aunt LD had me over for an art party. We play with new techniques and toys whenever I go there. We throw around different visual ideas for journaling or expression in general. I'm meaning to put together a positive affirmation page or visual goals... I need to buy a couple health magazines. I have plenty of weight loss pages. But not many envisioning a thin healthy future.

Yet to be finished, painted this weekend

Favorite part though. Ashley works at an all vegetarian tea house. So lovely tea. Lovely veggie burgers. Thorough menu. Spicy kale chips. We (Ashley, Lindz and I) went on Ashley's day off and had lunch. We painted there. Lindz got out her loom and was weaving a scarf. It was a really laid back vibe. No one was going to get mad at us for using our water glasses to rinse paint brushes. :)

I weighed in yesterday when I got back and went to work out. I actually lost a pound! 332! So I consider the vacation a healthy release with a few minor indulgences. I'm excited that until Jan 2 I have no school or work so I can relax, paint, work out, research healthier food and work out options and COOK!

Off to the gym with Trent,
Nanette