healthy cooking, holmes...

So yeah... I'm at home. My dad got his new mobility scooter. We took him back over to the nursing home to finish a release form and visit his little old lady friends. I sang while they played games. Then I met a lot of them. One lady, M, has a closet full of jewelry and let me pick two pieces to take home with me. I also signed a paper saying that she let me have it so she can't accuse anyone of stealing. Quirky. 

They all told me I looked like my dad, except one lady... "when you smile you look just like your mom, but don't tell her that." That ending tag line - but don't tell her that - is something she adds to the end of every sentence. "you sound just like her too, but don't tell her that." It was kinda silly and made absolutely everything seem like gossip. 

I've been cooking for myself, like always, since my parents don't really eat the way that I do. So last night I baked some salmon w/olive oil mayo and almond slivers with steamed veggies and tomato slices with balsamic. Me and all my fancy cooking ways... as my dad said. So they had me make breakfast this morning. I sauteed some mushrooms, baby red potatoes, red bell peppers, and a little onion and put in some eggs to scramble up with it.

My normal 6 meals a day has been sorta disrupted. I don't think it's a bad thing. I mean, mixing it up keeps the body confused at least. But doing the normal 3 meals a day thing is leaving me super hungry by the time I sit down to eat. I'm going to the grocery store to buy some supplemental snacks. 

I also got 50 pushups in this morning...   That puts me at 280 pushups this week... 20 more before bed and I will get my 300 pushups in a week goal taken care of! 

Big Fat Hometown Love, 

Nanette

Travel plans for the weekend.

I'm going home this weekend. I don't do that much, even though it's only an hour away. But not having a car, it may as well be 10 hours away. I have mixed feelings about the whole thing... I enjoy the family aspect, I don't enjoy the tension. Usually there's arguing or mom talking about dad or dad talking about mom and me left to mediate and I just don't want to. Then they both get mad at me when I disappear for a few hours to visit friends who are still in the home town or go to Logan to visit my brother... because "you just got here. What about family time?" Family time = watching TV, or sitting silently in the same room working on separate projects. 

But I'm moving in 3 months - across the country - and I won't see them for a while. So I may as well take advantage while it's only an hour away instead of a $300 plane ticket away. I'm going to be trying to go down every other week until I leave. 

So I've rescheduled my piano lesson for today. Having a tea date with a long lost friend, Jacob. And packing, who am I kidding... I'm taking my backpack and my dirty laundry bag. I'm also taking my debit card so i can grocery shop when I get there. Mom and dad don't usually have the greatest selection of fresh fruit and veg, or healthy cooking items. I may take an insulated lunch bag of things on the verge of spoiling from my house too. Trying not to waste the produce... sometimes it beats me to the punch. 

Since I'll be gone...  I've got to get my entire weekend to do list done today by 5 as well. 

- DO THE DISHES. 

- Sort the laundry. 

- clean the bathroom

- return library books. 

- make the menu (eh, I could do that at the parents). 

- design a couple work outs I can do at the parents. 

I won't be back to my scale until sunday evening MST around 5pm. So I'll have to do a place holder check in for E2E. Same thing with Allan's challenge. 

Big Fat Weekend Love, 

Nanette

No Thursday Blues!

So I woke up expecting the day to suck... I woke up before my alarm. My swim suit was still wet from Tuesday because I threw it in a heap on the floor... but even with that, I couldn't successfully talk myself out of going to swim.

At swimming we did a ton of cardio and I expected myself to fail and kinda half-ass the work out since I've been really ache-y this week. But I got distracted from my state of grump and wound up doing everything 100%. My arms were tired and quads... and then Trainer (also instructor of swim) told me we were doing a 5 round work out today... and I whined. UGH!! I don't think I can do it! 50 pushups! My arms are already so sore!!! But we got to her house and started. I was shaking through most of the work out, but I completed it 100 percent.

I dreaded taking a shower. But I did it. I dreaded putting on clothes. But I did it. I dreaded making breakfast. But I did it.

I dreaded going to the music department - where all the garbage I've been working on for 2 weeks was going to be finalized and go to the printer. But I went. And it didn't suck! It was actually really relieving to get rid of all those programs that have been plaguing me for WEEKS.

I dreaded practicing piano. But I did it... and I got 5 out of 8 scales up to to tempo! And I dreaded my voice student coming for her lesson... then she canceled. By that time I realized in every way, today was good. I have no reason to be whining or complaining. I spent a lot of energy and stress on dread this week - not to mention grinding my teeth. I walked home. With the cancelled lesson, I would be able to eat on my normal schedule. I would be able to chill out at home for 30 minutes.

I left for my next shift. The sun was shining and I had a silly song in my head by Tim Minchin (very hilarious, I mean, it's about boobs, p.s. it swears)! I smiled and hummed myself all the way to work without a coat.

For being the busiest and crappiest day of the week... It sure was a good one. I tried so hard to hate it and that just didn't work out.

Big Fat Good Day Love,
Nanette

Mini Challenge and a Midweek update

It's been a good fitness week! My personal mini challenge of 300 pushups is right on track. I'm currently 120/300. Tomorrow is the last day with trainer for the week and I can't wait to take Friday off as a rest day.

Today's workout went like this...

3 rounds of... 
pushups - 10 reps
tricep dips - 25 reps
Bicep curls w/bands or weights - 25 reps
squat jumps - 50 sec
high knees - 50 sec
competition sit ups - 25 reps
Plank - 50 sec 

I've been floating around 2lbs heavier than my weigh in... which makes me sad, and skeptical of the scale. I've been working so hard! I hope it's muscle being built or fluid retention...  something! I don't want to incur Allan's wrath.

My caloric/water intake has been like this...
Sat - 1143/128oz
Sun - 1164/128 oz
Mon - 1643/176 oz
Tues - 1318/160 oz
Wed -  430 /88 oz (so far).

So I'm struggling with getting my 160 oz in per day for the Allan challenge. Particularly when I'm at home without the luxury of the great filtered water at work. 

I've been supporting people in the E2E challenge pretty well. I haven't been reading my book, but I have been doing a lot of reading about the primal blueprint stuff.

Been watching Eaba's Myfitnesspal account. She's doing well. Keepin' active and eatin'right!

Big Fat Check In Love,
Nanette

For Maren - Fattitude.

I'm taking Maren up on her suggestion to write a blog about self-worth and fat. 

She wrote a post about finding the body love while still being fat and wrote it quite well...   Also Myra's response post got me thinking. 

"Joy in the Journey" is a phrase I've heard a thousand times over growing up...   and then in the music world, they tell you that the practicing has to be just as satisfying as the performance. So here we are... Fat. In transition. Can we find the happiness in that? Sure thing! 

I don't believe that being happy, while fat, means that you're not going to change or that you've become contented and complacent with your size. I can love my body and still work on it. As Maren said, we are more than our fat. We are complex people with varying interests and challenges. 

If we have to be sad because we're fat, then I could logically conclude that being thin is happiness and that's just not true. The baggage (emotional) that we carry along with our fat baggage needs just as much work and processing in order to be happy people. 

I've said it a few times... My dad lost his weight too late. He can't really enjoy the benefits of being thin. He still hurts. He's lost a lot of muscle. He's replaced so many body parts. His health is STILL affected by his years spent above 500lbs. I suspect that he thought he'd be happy when he lost weight... and it became this magical place in his mind "lost weight" or "skinny" or "thin." A place where there is limitless energy and recaptured youth and rainbows and puppies and the occasional slice of pizza. 

Well... he's lost weight. He's thin. He's spend the last 2 years in and out of hospitals, bed-ridden. He's still struggling to be a happy person. He's struggling to enjoy life. He still has a short temper. He still says mean things. He still has money problems. He still gets frustrated when he can't do things or when he needs help. He still likes to spend the majority of his time in front of a computer or a television. He doesn't go outside much or get very physical. He lost weight. But he isn't happy... He's still on that journey.

I believed that if Dad were thin, things would get better. I really did believe he would be happier, more kind, more patient. Now I know better. Thin doesn't mean any of that. Thin means carrying around a lot less physical weight - which has a plethora of positive benefits, if you can take advantage of them. 

Don't get me wrong... I love my dad through and through. He's a tough nut, but when you get past the shell, he's all softness. I'm a complete daddy's girl - which makes it harder to watch his health decline and see him turn into a confined ornery old cuss. 

My family in 2005? I was still in high school. In this pic, my dad had already lost about 100-150lbs. And the tall guy in the back... yeah... he's not standing on anything, he's just 6'7"

Achieving a certain weight does not mean you'll be happy and that problems will be solved. Happiness is based entirely on how you choose to view your life. 

I wrote this as a response to Myra's blog.. 

One must enjoy the practice as well as the performance or one will spend the majority of the time miserable. Eating right and exercising can be challenging AND fun... not just something to endure until we're thin - because if we haven't learned to be happy by then, the problem isn't weight, but attitude.

And I think that's the most succinct way I could say it.

Big Fat and Happy Love,
Nanette

hallucinating...

I keep noticing things... more slender fingers, where my jaw hits my ear, cheekbones, ankle ligaments. I'm not sure that they're changing... or if it's a result of spending more time staring. But it's nice to see things change... small things. Even if I can't measure them.

No murder happened at work today. The dept. chair was out... I guess I'll have to wait until thursday to talk to him. I'm catching up on all the work... and that calms me down.

It was another good set of work outs this morning...

Lap swimming with intervals of resistance band work.

Then the HIIT.

switch lunges w/side kick - 10 reps.
Pushup+superman - 10 reps
1 min jump rope.
1 min high knees jump rope.
standing side-bends w/ kettle bells (25lb) - 10 reps.

Repeat 3x.
Time: 19:09

Apparently, I've forgotten a lot about jump roping since elementary school. It took two rounds for me to get the hang of it again. I'm hoping to get more proficient... She makes it look so easy! It's a work out tool I can pack up with me - that's always sitting at the back of my mind - how can I get into a routine that I can continue when I leave here? Getting rid of the gym and sticking to at home, body weight exercises have been a great answer.

Yesterday, we had such a teaser for spring. I walked all the way to work in only a cardigan and didn't regret it. And then it snowed today. It's getting close... my energy levels are already up. :)

Big Fat Moving-It Love,
Nanette

Beginner workout progressions

While at my other job tonight, I spent three hours doing programs. I should be caught up with all the senior recitals for the rest of the month. This way I should be able to just work on the last minute faculty recitals/choir concerts/symphony/band/wind ensemble concerts coming up. And be able to keep my skepticism and bitterness to a minimum - it's a natural tendency of mine that I hate to have/display.

I'm really looking forward to the work out tomorrow. I've gotta kick something's ass... even if it's my own.

After work I did 70 pushups for my 300 pushup in a week goal. I'm now 100/300. I might get some more in after a hot bath.

I saw a great chart over on Julie's page that I plan on following/integrating into my daily work outs.

Also...   I found some great progression work outs... because I still can't do real push ups, and I can't do real planks and I can't do real pull ups and my form needs help on my squats. This is for all you other beginners out there.

I love how he makes it feel really easy to progress. It's motivating to know that I'm not stuck at girly pushups forever. Just until I can complete 60 good girly pushups in one go...   once I can do that... gotta start trying to do the real ones and work my way up.

Same thing with the plank. Right now, my belly hits the floor on my elbows... and it pulls on my back... so I'm starting at the very basic and hopefully working my way up.


Big Fat Dare-You-To-Try-It Love,
Nanette