I did half of the 300 rep work out I would normally do. Only half because it's been 2 weeks since I've done my Tabata style training and it kicked my ass in a few brief minutes.
I have been excusing myself to be fat while I'm stressed out. I've been excusing my body and my fitness and all the things that are imperative. And I am bugged. The work out this morning only took 10 minutes and that's only half.
The hikes I've been going on have been over an hour.
The walks to and from work have been between 20-30 minutes each way.
And I think I don't have TIME for working out? Bull.
I'm too stressed to workout?! Also Bull. What better time to work through the anxiety and nervousness?! Things are going to fall into place. I've made sure of that. And frankly, even if I can't get everything to a good home, or get everything to goodwill, it's OK to throw stuff away. Things will fall into place. It's okay. Stop worrying. Just keep going.
I may be too tired sometimes... and I feel like that's actually legitimate. But would I be this tired if I were working out more?
Also... screw working out with others at this point. I can't keep trying to mesh schedules with people and then blame a missed workout on someone else. Hoist the petards and be a grown up, Nanette.
Best thing about not working out with someone - I don't have to worry about the sounds that fat slapping fat makes when I do things like jumping jacks, or squat jumps or anything else. I can listen to offensive music if I want. I can speed stuff up. I can slow stuff down. I can skip something that makes my knees do that gristly sound.
Also... Logged calories yesterday and the day before. I've learned that right now, I cannot trust my instincts. I'm eating WAY above my limit. Normally I can float around 1400 and be fine. I've been eating around 1900-2200 and still been hungry. Real hungry not like brain hungry. Time to reign it in. You are in control of your body, not the other way around.
I'm just tired of the bullshit from all directions.... But most of all from myself. Take some control. Don't be a hypocrite.
Menu today
B: protein bar
S: .5 C cottage cheese.
L: Sushi Roll
S: 2 boiled eggs with salsa
D: Salad + 4oz chicken breast (baked).
S: Berries.
Calorie total: 1500 (ish).
Movement
150 reps (squats, side lunge, back lunge + kick).
2.5 mile walk to work.
2.5 mile walk from work.
150 reps (squats, side lunge, back lunge + kick).
Big Fat IT'S ABOUT TIME Love,
Nanette
P.s. sorry for the swearing lately. I'll get to that habit next.
"Take some control." Love it. So simple, but not easy.
ReplyDeleteI know I'm supposed to write something motivating or inspiring on this post, but can I just say THANK YOU!! This is exactly how I've been feeling and this post totally puts my attitude and excuses into view.
ReplyDeleteNo more BS... for the both of us!
Let's do this!!
Self-sabotage can be a deceptive thing and take many forms. Good for you that you are recognizing it in its many forms. We don't have to accept this as "part of the journey" as many people like to hide behind. You go girl!
ReplyDeleteIts hard Nanette. You have so much happening but you're determined and you will do this. Keep up the great work. Time is running short and soon you'll be living the dream you've been wanting.
ReplyDeleteTake care and God Bless!!
Sometimes swearing is the only thing that keeps your head from exploding.
ReplyDeleteHang tough with yourself and keep going.
Yep, I think we have all felt EXACTLY what you are right now. Hang in there girl, you will beat this and be so much stronger for it. Sending lots of bloggy lovin' vibes your way hon!
ReplyDeleteYes, you control your body. You've got the right attitude. Just keep it up. Do what you can. Focus on all the good and remember that every step counts :)
ReplyDeleteGreat attitude! I needed that too! I have learned that excuses are just that, excuses. Thanks so much!! Love your thinking and plan! Hope your week is going great!!
ReplyDelete