CDCC - last check in

Hey everyone!

Last go around...

Weigh in: 332 (+3)
Exercise: 6/7
Diet: 7/7 under 1900/mostly green.
Book: Skinny Bitchy - Done.
Dress: Still many sizes away - can't get it on yet. :( But soon I'll be in a 24.
Pant size: 28 to 26.
Shirt size: tight 4x to tight 3x.
Bra: 46DD to 44D

Good news. My body is changing. I can pinch loose skin over my belly, breasts, thighs, ass and arms. Here's hoping that skin with adjust. Though I've promised myself, if I can reach -100 to -120 lbs and keep it off for one year, I will allow myself skin reduction surgery. I don't believe that plastic surgery solves self esteem issues, but this one might be not be cosmetic. I'm a large woman. I don't need my fat skirt to turn into a skin one.

Before

After

Before

Before

After

That's the difference of -11 lbs. Honestly, I'm a little disappointed that the loss was so small, but I think that I've added a lot of muscle and built some excellent habits. 

• I'm not afraid of the gym much anymore. I will try whatever machine I can. 
• I've done a dance class IN SPANDEX IN FRONT OF PEOPLE. Whoa, that in conjunction with swim class, I was basically naked in public four times a week. Tell ya what, that's the cure to insecurity. 
• I finally went in to get my blood panels done. Thank god I'm not diabetic. Here's hoping I can take these preventative measures. 
• I've learned a lot about nutrition and exercise and how to muscle through even when you're not seeing results. 

Here's looking at what I can accomplish before the big move next June. Hopefully more than another -11lbs. But I think I'm on the verge of the next big weight drop with a new work out regime starting and waiting for this last work out intensive week to take it's toll. Hell, I'm okay with not losing a ton more weight, as long as I see a difference in my body. My legs are looking so much smoother and actually toned in certain places (calves and ankles). I look forward to concentrating on my fat wings and seeing what I can do to help my upper body strength. 

Good job, guys! It's been fun watching and reading about others' journeys. Sometimes it's just what I need to hear that day... whether it be knowing I'm not alone in a struggle or that the progress I see in others is inspiring. You've all been so helpful. 

I'm probably going to keep blogging about weight loss. I've still got a whopping 100lbs to lose. I'm staying subscribed to others and hopefully we can continue to support and work, with or without the next challenge. 

Big Fat -11lbs Love, 

Nanette

CDCC #12? 13?

Weigh in: 330 (+1)
Water: 5/6 over 100 oz.
Veggies: 3/6 3 servings +
Calories: 6/6 under 1900.
Work outs: 5/6  3.5 hours cardio, 1 hr weights, 2 hrs aquacise.
Book: Done. Searching for the next one. 100 days of weight loss? open to suggestions.

MOVEMENT!!! granted, not in the right direction. BUT IT CHANGED!

Today was the last class of Aquacise. I've been taking it for three semesters and now I'm done forever. My teacher, Sarah and I have become pretty good friends. She added me on facebook today after we had a big long talk about how to break through this plateau. She sent me to bodyrock.tv. For some at home work outs and some recipes and weekly challenges. She recommended taking this weekend to concentrate on homework. Skip the Saturday work out. But hit it HARD next monday.

Lengthen cardio - switch from bike to elliptical.
Do weight reps faster - with good form of course.
Try body weight exercises alone (pushups, crunches, planks, chair dips, lunges).
REMEMBER TO STRETCH - keep those muscles loose and cool down to prevent soreness. 

Next week is also going to be a raw foods week - small cheats allowed for HOME BAKED fish.
Sunday will be menu, shop and prep day.

I started losing weight by reading up. writing motivations down. Writing things to think about. Ways to change unhealthy thought patterns. I found this very excellent thought while browsing articles on sparkpeople... that sometimes motivational issues arise from outgrowing the initial motivation. I consider that the case right now - duh, I'm looking up motivational speeches for weight loss.

I haven't grown completely lax or anything. But it's time to kick it up. It's time to stop being complacent and blaming my body for not losing when I haven't given it new stimuli for a while now...

On the positive side, I've gone from...
0 workouts a week -----------------> 5-7 workouts consistently per week.
not tracking calories at all --------> logging calories 4-7 days a week
Eating without thinking ----------> careful consideration of sodium and saturated fats I consume.
size 28/30----------------------------> 26/28... and lost a cup size :( heh.
Chronic back pain -----------------> sore muscles. A very decent trade.
No caffeine -------------------------> No soda or corn syrup infused drinks at all.
3 servings of veggies a week. ----> 3 servings at least 3 times a week. 300% increase.
368 lbs -------------------------------> 330 lbs.

Some motivational questions from one of those articles... 

• Look at a recent successful week; what worked? when did you make good choices? 
• How would life be different if you dropped 20lbs over night? What would happen?  
• Find the good intention behind bad behavior. What did I quiet with that {insert guilt food or skipped work out}? What feelings did I satiate? How else can I address that body need or emotional feeling? 
• Make predictions for good behaviors and bad. I am 50% sure that I will go out to eat. I am 60 % sure I'll go to the gym. I am 100% sure that I will weigh in. It helps us own our decisions. 
• Why do you do things right? What do you feel when you do things right? how do you think? how does your body react? 

I loved an article that I read back in August. It said pick a date. A solid calendar date. Make a commitment to that date and a commitment to yourself that this is when the plan you've been contemplating goes into effect. (inner skeptic says: you can make this choice every moment. Now self skeptic... here's the deal, that hasn't been working so well, fresh start). I will continue my current patterns of calorie counting and conscientious eating. Here's a commitment to the next step. The next level. The next -38 lbs. The next tough week. I will prepare myself now, during the last few days of this stupid plateau, to take it up a couple notches. I will read. I will journal. I will think it through. I will make time for my body, myself, my well-being.

Body, enjoy this brief respite. You will be workouts will shed that ass and belly come Monday.

Big FAT, TIRED OF PLATEAU-ING, Love,
Nanette

CDCC # whatever... I've lost track

Weigh in: 329 (-0)
water: 3/7...   boo.
exercise: 5/7... okay.
veggies: 3/7... needs improvement

Morning after wingman-ing

Nursing an amazingly wicked hang over today. I was wingman last night for a friend... mission accomplished, just sayin'. It has been over a year since I've had anything to drink and there's less of me this time... man. Not doing that again for a very long time. But the drag show was fun. Glitter, lip-syncing, dirty jokes and men that walk better in heels than most women.

I would like to announce that I have fixed my creative writing grade (had some absences). So there's one crappy stress out of the way. I'm doing what I can to minimize that and make life simple. I'm trying to get all my homework for the week done today so that this week is just showing up, exercising and eating right.

Today
- finish French diction recitation.
- piano lesson for pedagogy.
- prep voice notes for pedagogy portfolio.
- edit two english pieces for creative writing portfolio.
- complete peer reviews on 3 english pieces.
- begin AND COMPLETE analyzing the Beethoven Variations (dread).
- Make chocolate covered pretzels for the student recital on Thursday (stores well).
- GROCERY SHOP.
- Make and send some christmas cards.
- Write the weekly letters to Tracy, Ashley and Emily.


This is my last week of real classes (dead week). Finals week I only have one actual final that's written. The rest are small projects - take home stuff. And no exercise classes on finals week. I've been coming up with a game plan for activity though. The guy I normally work out with (trent), says he's willing to go every day. It will kick my pants. It will be something different. I will have time to lengthen our weight lifting. And we can do it later than 7am. Since we're both here during the break... and both have gym memberships we're going to do 5 days of work out in a row... cardio+weights+stretching (which I know how to do now, thank you dance class). And on the 6th day... there was swimming. And on the 7th day... there was rest. This is the plan anyway. It might be modified as we find out what juries Trent has to play the piano for.

Swimming has to take a back seat until I'm in class. Trent is a terrible swimmer and it slows me down sometimes because I want to help him learn - not the reason I'm there. But I can usually get a decent work out in and help him learn a concept. Boy cannot relax enough to float for his life. He normally runs a few miles every morning and lost 60lbs over a year ago... most importantly, he's maintained it. He likes to take people on runs with him... Younger "healthier" people... and then see if he can keep up or if they can keep up with him. So there is a tiny sense of satisfaction that he is SORE the next day after I've worked him out in the pool. The voice of reason tells me that he's using new muscles and that he's out of his element. It's fun to see the tables turn, if only briefly to have the student teach the teacher. In that way, I so enjoy that we help each other.

I'm still plateau-ing. I'm not too angry about it... It's frustrating. But I haven't been concentrating hard enough on the weightloss part of my life. So it makes sense. End of semester has got me thinking - dad, finals, broke, dad, finals, fat, no... unfat, dad, finals, broke, dad, broke, laptop screen, broke, finals, upcoming forced vacation (work for the uni), MORE broke.

It's big decision time....
I've been offered an EXTREME discount to go to Europe with the choirs. I guess Dr. A needs altos. It directly conflicts with my financial plans for moving to New York. I've also got a bit of dental work that I'm getting done. Three major competitors.

Europe - $2000 + food, trinkets, passport.
NYC - $5000 (beginning nest egg).
Dental - $1500 (implant and wisdom teeth extraction).

I've enrolled for school again. I have ONE CREDIT to finish. Which I could do on my own without enrolling but who is going to give this girl a loan to move across country. I need that financial aid. Yes, abusing the system. All's fair in education and money.  I will be getting my last student loan. I'll be getting $4000 back. Plus $2000 tax return (which I could just dedicate to EU). Plus a pretty decent job and near zero monthly expenses - I've paid them all in advance.

IF I eat healthy. Cook at home. Buy more produce in a timely manner. And avoid any surprise medical costs... I THINK I can afford everything and not have to make a decision to not do something. I would feel so uncomfortable moving to NY with less than that just in case it takes a ridiculous amount of time to get a job... plus only moving with 2 suitcases, there's a lot of stuff to buy. Lordy, I want to be a smaller size... You can pack more clothing that way. It would be so nice to be able to pack things like books and journals and memories. I'm going to have to box them up and ask mom and dad to ship them for birthdays and christmas over the next few years.

Don't even get me started on the whole minimizing the crap in my apartment thing and trying to decide what to keep, sell or donate.

Anyway...   just a peek into the stress I keep talking about. Stress? obsession? Cyclical thinking? A life NEAR motion? Cusping on the brink of something... (328lbs, maybe?)   Nearing the beginning of the next book of Nanette's life series... I've always hated how slowly books end. But that much closer to the next exposition, the beauty of a new life made!

done. must be done.

Big Fat Cusping Love,
Nanette

P.S. Dad's doing a lot better. they've got him in an inpatient Physical Therapy place. He's getting a lot of work done... sitting, rolling, wheel chair transfer from bed, wheel chair transfer to toilet, sitting for longer periods of time. He's still on a LOT of pain killers and he says he's very sore and that they work him beyond what he can do. (which means they're doing they're job). I hope he doesn't give up or get belligerent - he's off the hardcore opiates, so his filter should be back to functioning.

dunn da-da dunnnn!!!

Writing to you from the fixed laptop!

I weighed in again today. Thursday is usually my CDCC check in number. Again, with the 329.

I got a couple compliments from people in class today saying that I'm looking good. But I'm not feeling anything fitting differently. Motivation is a real kicker right now. I've been so mad at this 329... I've tried eating lots to see if it will move... it doesn't even GO UP. It just sits at 329.

In assessing what's been different in the last 3-4 weeks. It's cold. I'm stressed (finals approach). I'm solidly in a routine of 1900 calories a day, 5-7 workouts a week. I eat warm food. I want to sleep all the time.

New goals. Since the old ones don't seem to be working. 
- More FRESH veggies/fiber.
- More water.
- Change the non-class workout from bike to elliptical. Change the weights from upperbody to lower. Change the swimming from laps to strength training.
- Build more fat burning muscle so even if that damn number isn't going to go down, my body will be reshaping.

CDCC

last week's check in was 339... still maintaining.

I'm sure this week is a gain. But I won't know until swim class on tuesday.

My laptop is still down. More when I get it back. :(

Nanette

P.S. Dad had his second back surgery. He's in a full time rehabilitation facility and doing much better... but it's going to be a very long time until he walks again. They're working on having him sit for longer amounts of time. He's up to 20 minutes. Soon he'll be doing transfers from bed to wheelchair to toilet and etc.

EDIT: This week 329 AGAIN! - at least it's not a gain after the holiday.

Technical Difficulties

Due to technical difficulties this blog is brought to you late...

AND I still owe you a weigh in. I'm going swimming at 4 o'clock so I'll be able to get that finally.

I've been eating okay. Staying under my caloric limit, but not eating the healthiest of things and not with the healthiest of timing this last week. But it's finally Thanksgiving Break! I can sit back and relax and catch up on everything stressing me out as far as school goes and not let that get in the way anymore.

I refuse to sleep in over the break... I can't get into that habit. That's how this person misses dance class and everything else! UGH!

I'm sad, my laptop backlight has shorted out. Everything is still functioning... Hopefully I can get that fixed when I'm closer to Salt Lake this week.

My dad is having more health difficulties. He woke up and couldn't feel or move his legs this last week and got himself to the ER in town, they couldn't do the x-rays he needed, so he went to Logan, they did the x-rays but don't have the specialists that they need, so he wound up in OGDEN... (2 hours from where he lives). They did an emergency back surgery to correct a pinched nerve and put some supports between his lumbar vertebrae. He's still having some issues and a LOT of pain. So he's back into surgery today... I guess they're trying to widen the holes that the nerves go through so they don't catch. However, this could also be nerve death happening. Which is scary.

It's a whole bunch of muddy feelings. I mean, I'm glad he's finally getting this looked at and taken care of. I hope he feels better. I also suspect that this is the beginning of a long road of declining health, which is terrible. But I suppose I'd best prepare myself for the hardest truth and celebrate when I'm wrong? Something like that. He's 68 and spent most of his life above the 400lb mark. With his foot injury from last year and the massive infections, he hasn't been out of a wheel chair and back to normal functions for over a year now. The antibiotics have killed his digestive system. And he might be getting a little worn out as far as fighting to get better goes. Though he's incredibly optimistic when he's doped up and not feeling pain. That's probably a feeling he's gotten used to for so many years, being in pain.

I dunno... but as long as praying is happening out there... maybe shoot some his way?

Big Fat Thanksgiving in a Hospital Love,
Nanette

CDCC #10

Weigh in: 329 (-0)
Water: over 100 oz 4/7
Food: veggies every day! under caloric limit (shifts when I work out) 4/7
Workout: 6/7 missed a swim class.
10 week total: - 14lbs (one lb till pedicure!)

Maintaining again. Which is frustrating. I've lost three weeks of possible negative numbers fighting (or rather giving in to) my hibernation urges.

Normally I weigh in twice a week before swim class. It's consistent. Swimsuit, same scale, same time of day. Tuesday, I was actually up to 334... then yesterday when I went for the swim I owed myself, I was back to 329. Ultimately, it's maintenance. But I'm feeling really good about being able to bring that number BACK after crazy eating last weekend.

Here's a shout out to Jillian! Sorry I couldn't see a negative number with you this week. But I'll race you on this next one. :)


Before and After pics!  I'm really appreciating the narrower waist.

I put on a dressy tank top that was just too snug the last time I tried it on. It's better now... but not entirely. Here's going for christmas!

Sept 14

Nov 11

I'm trying to come up with a game plan for Thanksgiving. We're not crazy foodies at my house so there will probably be a lot of boxed/pre-made food going around the table. I need to come up with a healthy contribution. It's exciting to go home though. Mom has a drier and apple core/slicer thingy. Gonna make me some dehydrated apples, bananas and blueberries. My produce costs are going up and it sucks to have fruits go to waste... hopefully this will make it easier to make better decisions.


Big fat maintaining love,
Nanette

CDCC #9

Weigh in: 329 (-0)
Water: 4/7 over 100 oz.
Food: 4/7 under 1500 calories
Workouts: 4/6 - two cancelled classes.

Feeling good. Feeling really good. Had another weekend with J. We did a lot more cooking together. That way I know what kind of calories I'm consuming and so I can show off my domestic skills.

now... off to piles of homework. More later.

Big Fat Maintaining Love,
Nanette

CDCC #8

Weight: 329 (-3)
Water: 4/7 100oz
Food: under 1900 6/7
Exercise: 3/7

I'm really surprised to see that much lower of a number when I haven't been able to exercise as much. But I've been very particular about food this week. It's a lovely surprise.

CDCC #7

BAD week.

Weigh in: 332 (+1)
Work outs: 2/7
Food: under 1900 calories 3/7
Book: no further.

Doctors visits: 3. I've got an awesome tonsil infection. We're throwing around the word surgery. But nothing is official yet. I'm kinda terrified because I don't know what it'll do to my voice - since that's the chosen area of study and what not. On the plus side, I had them pull blood for the standard health examination. Diabetes, thyroid, cholesterol, lipids, etc. It's the first time I've dared see the results.

In the meanwhile, I'm mainly on liquids - yes, I managed to go over calorie limit while just on liquids yesterday. Gotta calm down on the juices. More water and tea.

Things are calming down a little. Swallowing and breathing are getting easier. Post nasal drip has calmed down. I'm going swimming tomorrow. I've given myself 3 days of down time. I'm going CRAZY staying in all this time.

Big Fat Sicky Love,
Nanette

CDCC #6

weigh in!!!!  

bigger blog this weekend

Weigh in: 331 (-2)
water: 100 oz 3/7 days.
food: under 1900 5/7
book: Skinny Bitch... no further...   it's been midterms.

Big fat love,
Nanette

CDCC #5

Weight: 333lbs (-3) total: 35
Water: 5/7 days above 100oz.
Food: 6/7 under 1900 calories.
Book: FINALLY arrived. Skinny Bitch. It seems a bit extreme in a lot of view points but it's really made me aware of how many chemicals we ingest. I'm about 1/4 the way done with it.

Big Hitters 

- Just like a human, what's consumed by a chicken about to hatch an egg, is passed on through the mother to the baby/egg. We ingest whatever medications and hormones that they've received. In order to avoid it, try buying local at a farmer's market where at private farms they're less likely to use hormones and antibiotics.

- The antibiotics we consume in food affect our reaction to antibiotics when given as a prescription, contributing to your drug resistance.

- Aspartame, as it's broken down, turns into formaldehyde in the body. There are Aspartame Support groups and class action lawsuits happening right now because of the severe negative health effects. (again, sorta extreme, but the formaldehyde thing freaked me out).

- Ph levels in the body fluctuate. The goal is to have a more basal than acidic body. Dairy products and sugars raise the PH level. Cancers thrive in highly acidic environments.

More before and after photos....

September 14

October 8

CDCC 4

Weigh in: 336 (-1).
Water: over 100 oz a day.
Food: ugh. bad. bad. bad. need more produce.
Exercise: 5 hours cardio 1 hr strength training and a bajillion hours walking to and from campus, work and home.
Book: STILL hasn't arrived. But my new cook book did! The Skinny Bitch Ultimate Every Day Cookbook.

I'm very impressed as I have eaten a bunch of garbage this week. I'm still battling period symptoms like I've never experienced. I'm retaining water like a camel. I finished my workout this morning and my fingers had swollen so much I couldn't get my rings off.

So in order to get a game plan together for a more successful week, I'm making a menu this week. Then going shopping tomorrow for JUST THE THINGS I NEED. There's an excess of random ingredients floating around my kitchen just going to waste right now.

Goals:
- Cook at least once a day (and DO THE FREAKING DISHES).
- Do a vegan day.
- Go to bed by 12:00am every night.
- Stay on top of my piles and piles of homework.
- Get 7 hrs of gym time in.

Big Fat Love, Nanette

CDCC 3

Weigh in: 337lbs ( - 4lbs)
Water: below 100 oz per day.
Diet: mostly vegetarian - was wary about sodium.
Exercise: 7.5 hours
Book: Still in the mail... might be applying for a refund from Amazon.

It's been a good and exhausting week. I hope I can keep this kind of loss up. I'm meeting someone new (potentially romantic) over Thanksgiving and I would like to introduce less of myself.

 

Big Fat Love, Nanette

CDCC #2

I owe you a weigh in!

Goals: 100 oz water a day - check.
2-3 servings of veggies a day - check.
6 hours of work out - check (made it to seven)!

Weight: 342.

Big Fat Love,
Nanette

Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge - Initial Post.

Sorry about the late post, guys. I don't have the interwebs on the weekend.

1 - starting weight: 343
2 - Size of Dress: 26/28
3 - Book: Skinny Bitch + cookbook + myfitnesspal.com
4 - Caloric limit: 1900
5 - 2x cardio + strength training, 2x swim class, 2x dance class.
6 - Dress is in the previous post
7 - Water: 1/2 my weight in ounces daily.

It was a tough weekend. I went out a couple of times with friends (food not booze). But I'm staying underneath the caloric limit. I'm just eating too much sugar and not drinking enough water. I was sad to get on the scale after this morning's work out and see that I had gained .5 lb.

However, I did get to the gym on Friday morning. I got 45 minutes of cardio on the stationary bike [interval training] and then 30 minutes of strength training - shoulders, chest. It made for a 5x work out week.

This week is already off to a better start. I got 30 minutes on the bike in and a 20 minute walk to and from the gym. I've been eating healthier today. However, according to fitnesspal I'm still over on sugar mainly because of my fruit intake. But I refuse to see my fruit consumption as a negative thing. I've worked hard to want to eat raw foods and I don't want to be demotivated by that.

On the other hand, I've found that I do not take in enough iron. So here's searching... low sugar, high iron foods - not that I think there are many high sugar iron-y foods.

This week's goals:
1- Be more consistent about drinking lots of water (pee it off!!!)
2- First week of 6x work outs!
3- Eat more leafy greens and veggies in general (at least 2 servings a day).

AAAANNND.... a link. Check it out, The CDCC.