Journal Excerpt
I'm still in Idaho. NYC is absolutely where I want to be right now. This is no secret. If you know me and are reading this, you've probably heard all the adventures and heard my laments upon returning to Idaho.
I left...
... feeling wanted.
... feeling talented.
... feeling that dreams are within reach.
... feeling fresh and invigorated.
... diversity.
... good shopping.
... the ability to live independently without a car.
... a job offer.
I returned to...
... an unfinished degree.
... a shitty relationship.
... a community that doesn't value the same things that I do.
... financial responsibility (thoughts of student loans).
... the dissatisfaction with my academic situation from the prior semester (have to take form AGAIN).
Is it a wonder that every morning I have to give myself a motivational speech? One day closer to graduation, Nanette. Do your homework and you can go to NYC. Get your recital done and you're one step closer to moving. If you don't buy this... you can put that money into a savings for moving.
Enjoy where you are while you have it. Enjoy the cheap cost of living. Enjoy the personal space. Enjoy not having a housemate. Enjoy the friends. Enjoy the safety. Enjoy the quietude. Enjoy the mountains. Enjoy the stars. Enjoy living this close to family. Enjoy the last moments of "student life" before entering the "real world" you've been so warned about.
I cannot wait to return to the "real world." Full of work. Full of responsibilities. Full of new challenges. Full of new stories. Full of adventure. Full of different.
Sooooo... I'm basically in the same stinking place. Waiting. It's been such a tough year just looking forward to NYC. I like what Mir said on my last blog... "bloom the hell outta yourself!" Within the last year I've traveled to NYC twice. Had some awesome experiences. Solidified contacts, friends, lovers. Saw who was going to stick through...
Please note, there is nothing in that blog about health, wellness, eating correctly. I've become a happier person in general. Less stressed out. Less prone to complaining about stress. I've weeded out some poisonous friends/influences. Though so much is the same (anticipation of NY) SO much is different.
1/1/11 |
1/1/12 |
Big Fat Reminiscent Love,
Nanette
Hang in there, Nanette. I have a feeling 2012 will bring good changes for all of us. :)
ReplyDeleteI completely agree. I'm so ready for NEW! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm a go get it type person and waiting is just not in my vocabulary, so I can only imagine how frustrated you must be. Like Karen said, hang in there and lets work on a few of your goals that way when you do move to NY it will get the most amazing Nanette to date!
ReplyDelete2012 will be the year for you. Make it yours, make it take shape how you want it to. Happy new year, take care! :)
ReplyDelete