Fast forward to the next job (library). I popped in early since my voice student was a no-show. I was talking to a coworker. It got gossipy and I didn't stop it... So I was participating in something that again, I'm a giant advocate of NOT DOING. I'm quite openly against it. If there is an issue or you have issue with someone... in my rule book, you talk directly to that person and no one else. Well... I kettle blacked all over that situation.
I totally ate my feelings last night and today, instead of waking up and working out like I told myself I would, I just didn't care. Apathy... my personal weight loss MONSTER.
I practiced piano. Wrote a few letters. Went to the tea house for tea (which I don't count on the lent thing since it's zero calories and under $2.00). Bought some stuff at the Persian Bazaar. Made lunch...
hummus. <---carb.
falafel <-------sat fat and carb
lavash <-----CARB.
For the first time in two months, I am uncomfortably full. And even more disappointed in myself. (cyclic, I know). But I've gotta get back on top of my shit. One bad day... on top a week without my work outs... on top of a wheelbarrow full of carbs... this close to weigh in. I kinda think I'm screwed this time.
Tomorrow morning is a PiYo class with trainer. I refuse to whine about it. I refuse to gripe. I will get my ass in gear. I'm also going to get a pre-bed work out in tonight. Nothing crazy like the normal HIIT stuff, but something none-the-less.
Big Fat FATFATFAT Love,
Nanette
Yep, the beating ourselves up is as bad as doing it in the first place. Okay, Nanette, get back up and climb on the wagon. There's still a whole day left until weigh-in. Drink your water. You may surprise yourself and find that the damage is not as bad as you think. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteChin Up! It can only get better from here. You've done so well so far, and will do so again!
ReplyDeleteYou will feel 500% better after an awesome workout! I know it.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go on. We all fall and you know that is certainly true of me lately. I'm sorry it was a rough week for you. I wish us both a better week next week. Hang in there. :)
ReplyDeleteHey yo,
ReplyDeleteI hope you really, really enjoyed that food you made yourself, before you started beating yourself up, that is. That stuff is going to be in your life. I love it too! It's unrealistic to think that you'll eliminate hummus, falafel and lavash from your life. And when's the last time you slipped? It's just food. Don't give it the power to determine your happiness. Let it go, but remember how wonderful it tasted and how satisfying it was!
Hey yo,
ReplyDeleteI hope you really, really enjoyed that food you made yourself, before you started beating yourself up, that is. That stuff is going to be in your life. I love it too! It's unrealistic to think that you'll eliminate hummus, falafel and lavash from your life. And when's the last time you slipped? It's just food. Don't give it the power to determine your happiness. Let it go, but remember how wonderful it tasted and how satisfying it was!
I am so glad that we can start anew at any point during our journey. We face tough situations every day and I am so thankful for this blogging community and our innate ability to get back up when we're down.
ReplyDeleteNanette,
After your workout tomorrow I hope you also give yourself some mental love and grace. You did not screw up, you just needed to be comforted and encouraged. I pray that tomorrow will bring you hope, joy, and motivation to continue on this journey.
boy do I know this cycle. Time to let it go and go back to the good things you've been doing for yourself. I'm feeling like a hypocrite right now because I've been beating myself up over things like crazy recently and doing the same thing. Cycle , cycle. Things will get better!
ReplyDeleteYou have good days & bad but the ability to limit those bad ones is within, you just need to evoke it! You will eat back to it and kick butt again, don't let the emotions take over like they have in the past:-)
ReplyDeletei have felt like that sooo many times. its hard to not be too hard on yourself.
ReplyDelete