Undecided...

So... things are over with the boy. He found a girl up at BYU-I that's a better potential mother to his children and that wants to get married in the temple. I'm undecided about the whole thing... as I kinda felt like a placeholder, but it was very lovely while it lasted. I've thought some very catty things. But I would never say or text them.

But here are some really good things about it...

• I can leave to NY unattached. 

• He broke my streak of dating crappy guys. 

• I can date lots again! In my town! 

• I don't have to worry about his guilt thing.

He's still a very kind and great guy. And new girl is very lucky to have him. 

Since my feelings are very confused, at least there's been no emotional eating. I've got to sit down and make my menu today and shop for it. I want to spend the rest of my budget so I can't be tempted to eat out on friday. I went out for sushi with friends this friday, but I did very well, veggie roll, stir fried veg and a salad. for a whopping 600(ish) calories. But that's still more than I consume in one sitting. 600 is okay for a person who eats 3x a day. I eat 6 mini meals. They have to hover between 200-300 calories. So when I go out, I have to adjust food for the rest of the day. 

My piano lesson has been bumped to today. I only practiced once this week. So I have guilt. However, if I skipped the lesson, that's one more session of not being in front of a piano. Sometimes I need another person to rely on me to actually get me to do something - practice, show up. 

Maybe I'm feeling sad? That's unusual, I usually fluctuate between defensive, angry, motivated/gung-ho and amused. Yeah... let's go with sad for today. I can make that a productive emotion. 

Big Fat Sad Love, 

Nanette