Friday, April 13, 2012

Giant Weirdo. Truth.

WOOO!!! It's the weekend! I love my jobs... in that they pay me and that they only happen for four days a week. That leaves three for play and cleaning my house!

This week my weigh-ins have been ALL over... and I've said that before. But here's an idea.
Sunday: 309
Monday: 307
Tuesday: 316
Wednesday: 310
Thursday: 305
Friday: 309

So I'm just going to keep plugging along and hope that I can get one of the good low numbers on Sunday. I don't deserve a huge loss this week (not like... morally). I just haven't worked out a lot. Just my usual.

Monday: Short HIIT
Tuesday: Swim class + Trainer HIIT.
Wednesday: Trainer HIIT
Thursday: NO SWIM CLASS (piano test) + Trainer HIIT.

So today... since Friday is my only piano free day. I am going to shop with Trainer at the butchers for some non-processed, non-chemicaled meat. And then I'm going on an interval run.

I'm still very intimidated by people watching me and thinking "fat girl, you call that running?" So it'll still be in the cemetery. I fight those situations a lot... the ones where my brain tells me other people are judging me and that I need to feel insecure. My 0yr-24yr old self says "wait until tonight and just run in the dark... Then you can run wherever you want.

"INCORRECT!" says 25 year old, finally caring about health, Nanette.

I can run wherever I want no matter the time of day. I can run in a sports bra and undies if I want. I can run in a burka. I can run barefoot, in sandals, in trainers or heels. I can run in a dress. I can run fast (for a short while anyway). I can run slow. I can breathe hard. I can be my own trainer. I can sing along to my ipod. I can do whatever I want and whenever I want... and if someone out there thinks I'm a giant weirdo...

Well... I'm a giant weirdo working on being less giant. I'm a giant weirdo that has goals and reaches for them. I am a giant weirdo that actively takes part in her own weirdo life and destiny. I am a giant weirdo who counts calories, writes a fat blog, jiggles lots when she runs and makes friends with other giant weirdos.


Screw the cemetery. I'm going to run on the busiest street near my house. Get over your insecurities, Nanette. Get over yourself and this stupid sense of needing to look or be regarded a certain way. Just be. (jiggly, heh). Like they say in every acting class... "Move with purpose." 

Big Fat Giant Weirdo Love, 


  1. I don't know of anyone who judges an overweight person whom they see being active or working hard at an exercise. I do judge the fat woman in front of me at the supermarket with a shopping cart full of soda, chips, ice cream bars, frozen pizza, frozen TGIF appetizers, bakery goods and 2-lb bags of M&Ms telling the cashier to put back the $3.99 box of blueberries (because it's too expensive) while she doesn't bat an eye at the $5.99 box of blueberry-flavored kids' cereal or the $5, 500-calorie Starbucks drink in her hand. ;) You're doing great, your scale sounds whacked though...maybe new scale, new batteries or even just moving it to a new spot on the floor?

    1. I agree with the scale being weird. I guess I'm going to have to stick to once a week weigh ins at the gym... They've got the doctor scales, so I trust them more anyway.

      I know/have heard/been yelled at by some douchebags while running before... and I don't know why that makes me more upset than anything else I've encountered. But today's run went well. If you keep your music loud enough you can't hear them even if they did. (But not too loud, I like my hearing).

      That lady, the one with the blueberries...I judge her too... and refuse to be her.

  2. And I thought MY weight fluctuated at lot! But yours is really whacked! I hope you have a good weigh in, even if you think you don't deserve it.

  3. Screw them I had that insecurity before and have even when I was skinny dont know why but SCREW THEM!!! You are doing something they wish they could do thats why they are talking trash. You are doing great and you should be able to show the world your progress without having to worry about ppls words. Just remember "Those who matter dont mind and those who mind dont matter" Greatest quote and so very truthful! Stay strong and show the world with your lovely smile as you run past.

  4. Nanette, you weirdo, I worry about it too. Honestly, maybe a few nastier people might judge for a couple seconds, but everyone is too concerned with their own things to think about it for long. People are going to admire you for trying and you're right to have the attitude that you can workout where you want!

  5. Actually I was almost as young as you and I guess I was touchy and prone to PMS. I remember chasing down a car that yelled "save the whales" (hey I ran pretty fast). Then some teenager said something loud enough for me to hear and I explained to him that he must have a need to point out the obvious inadequacies in others like saying that I am fat, because he has a hidden problem with small penis size. I was fuming mad/bad about mean people.

    I think that your body is young enough and that is what our bodies were made for to chase down our food and to run from killer bees.

  6. When I see big people running, I think right on! Those people that mess with you will mess with anyone. They just pick a thing to make fun of. Like they never matured socially past 4th grade.

  7. I'm glad you posted this. My numbers have been driving me INSANE this week. I'm considering weighing myself on Sunday and then putting the scale away until the following Sunday. It hasn't affected my weight loss yet, but I am starting to get the little voice in the back of my head that's like, "If the scale isnt' going to move, then why are you trying?" I wish I was one of those people who could honestly say that even if I wasn't losing weight I would eat like this in an effort to be healthy. I'm vain. I want a smaller body, and if I can't have that, then yeah, I'd eat like crap. True story. Sigh. Maybe putting the scale away is a good idea for me.

  8. Kill those insecurities! It's a long and hard fight, but F what people think. If anything, when I see overweight people work out, I cheer for them inside. I've even VERY awkwardly high-fived an obese man at my gym... !

  9. When I see folks bigger than me working out--anywhere, walking, biking, whatever--I give them a smile and thumbs up! I know how hard it is. I was that 300 and 275 and 250 and 225 pound woman trying to make progress. I remember the AGONY of carrying 300 lbs and just trying to WALK or do Pilates at 280....and the embarrassment of working out on equipment next to a bona fide South Beach model with a body that had no imperfections. It's tough. It takes guts to walk into a gym in snug workout wear when you're big.

    I give big gals and guys working out major props. It's an achievement JUST to get going...on any exercise. Yep.

    So, you do what you gotta do, and pump your fist with pride, my dear.

    Hugs, sweaty ones. :D

  10. I spent many years not doing things because I was worried about the haters. There comes a point when you say to hell with them and stop missing out on life because of the fear you have for what others think and say. Since I have been running, I realised, not as many people give a hoot as what we think. Most don't even notice me. Best of luck!

  11.'s not just me on the all over the place. I know we're recommended to only weigh once a week (and I see why after this week for both of us) but it's hard not to monitor. Mine have also been ALL over the place...and even though I have 2x as much exercise this week, my weight is not seeming to want to drop below last weeks numbers. I hope it changes for both of us and we both lose this week!

  12. Love this post - you go girl! Heck I feel self-conscious just riding the bus because I can barely fit in one seat. Let alone trying to run which I simply cannot do at my weight and age. But like others have said, I really admire the bigger folks whom I see out there workin it for fitness.

    You do what you need to do and hold your head high doing it. (Now I just need to take my own advice... but hey, at least I go swimming with no shame!)

  13. Ok, this post speaks to me cause I go through the same thing! I don't want to run where people see me but I see others do it and do I judge them? Heck know, I wonder why I can't be more like them! But then again it's not the bigger people I worry about judging me it's the thinner people that are walking or running and then I wonder why I even care what they think? It's crazy, I go round and round with myself but I did run during my last 5K and you know what, no one cared or looked or laughed... well, not that I noticed anyway so if I don't see it then it ain't happening & I just need to let my mind quit making stuff up is what I say:-) Well, making stuff up that is against me cause I do like to be weird and enjoy the other fun stuff that it makes up constantly:-)


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